Tomorrow Is Today
don’t get any big ideas
- May 16, 2026
- 40
Lately I've been thinking a lot about how I used to be a year ago, before my mental health went off the rails.
I used to be quite a carefree and laid back person. I was doing quite well in university, had a good circle of friends and a stable relationship. I think what I miss the most is my mindset then. Somehow I knew how to just enjoy things as they were in the moment, and I didn't ponder too much about what the point of everything was.
Contrasting that to the current me, I honestly feel quite pathetic. I've squandered my potential, and I live a shallow routine of just finding immediate pleasures every day. To make things worse I find it so hard to find enjoyment in things now. Even at times where I have fun I just get hit with the realisation that's it's all temporary afterwards.
I think it was always a matter of time before the illusion cracked, but I do wish I could go back to the me before, at least he seemed happy.
I used to be quite a carefree and laid back person. I was doing quite well in university, had a good circle of friends and a stable relationship. I think what I miss the most is my mindset then. Somehow I knew how to just enjoy things as they were in the moment, and I didn't ponder too much about what the point of everything was.
Contrasting that to the current me, I honestly feel quite pathetic. I've squandered my potential, and I live a shallow routine of just finding immediate pleasures every day. To make things worse I find it so hard to find enjoyment in things now. Even at times where I have fun I just get hit with the realisation that's it's all temporary afterwards.
I think it was always a matter of time before the illusion cracked, but I do wish I could go back to the me before, at least he seemed happy.
