Help I was almost murdered

[The Blackangel]

I don't remember if I have mentioned it, but I'm m2f transgender. I'm not ashamed of it, but I do wish I was a cis woman. A few months ago, Adolf called out to "neutralize the transgender problem". In this context, "neutralize" literally means genocide. About 2 weeks ago I was shot at. I heard the gunfire and both felt and heard the bullet whiz by my head. I haven't showed my face outside since. My wife has to take care of everything we need to do outside of the house, like checking the mail and grocery shopping alone. We have blackout curtains on the majority of our windows, so that helps keep me out of sight. Cabin fever is about to kill me. But it seems my options are either a slow death from cabin fever or a quick death from a bullet to the head. It takes a lot to scare or intimidate me. But because I love my wife and my fur babies, I'm afraid to go out. When I'm forced to go out, I have gone armed every single time. I have a pistol on my right hip and a 7" Buck knife on my left hip. I've been expecting something like this to happen under this regime, but I expecting and being ready for it are two very different things. I miss going out in the morning with a cup of coffee and watching the sun come up and listening to the silence as the world begins to wake up. That's when I find complete serenity. But now I can't do that without wondering if the next bullet will find its mark. I could hide behind the curtain and peek out, but it's just not the same thing. I drive a 1987 Chevy Camaro Iroc-Z, but I can't enjoy her anymore. A minor reason is that I can't afford the damn gas, and the other is that I'm putting my life on the line just going to her out in the driveway. I can't enjoy my bike either. It's a Honda Goldwing, so it's nothing super special.

I didn't call the cops because there's nothing to go on. I didn't see who it was. They shot from across the road, but there's no way to show exactly where they fired from. There's literally no evidence of any kind. So it would basically be an empty report since they have pretty much nothing to investigate. So I would just be wasting their time. Time that they could put to working on more serious issues.

So here I am, as a complete shut-in. I can't go outside. I have to choose between death and cabin fever. And I'm basically trapped within my own mind. As soon as I find the damn thing I'll let you know.

The only thing left now is for Satan to walk by because for me this is literally Hell on earth.

 

[korchoi]

It makes me so angry to think about the bastard who did this. You didn't do any harm to anyone, so why should you have to go through something like this? I absolutely hate that such ignorant, barbaric people exist.

 

[The Blackangel]

I'm not a people person, so I try to stay away from people as much as possible. To put it more blunt, I'm the most misanthropic bitch you'll ever meet. It's just one of many reasons why I keep virtually all relationships purely digital and stay online. I can literally count the number of people who matter to me on one hand. None of which are blood.

Aside from sheer bigotry, I don't get why people are killing us. Who did we hurt? Who did I hurt? Why is my life worth less than other people's lives? Am I supposed to just take matters into my own hand and grab a rope and branch?

 

[Cauliflour]

Aside from sheer bigotry, I don't get why people are killing us. Who did we hurt? Who did I hurt? Why is my life worth less than other people's lives? Am I supposed to just take matters into my own hand and grab a rope and branch?

Stupid people don't like people different from them because it means they have to use brainpower to understand them, and it's easier to just ditch the empathy and treat them like a sub-species.

 

[The Blackangel]

These days I've been thinking that I actually AM a subspecies, like some kind of vermin that is deserving of extermination. This regime is trying as hard as it can to cause as many of us as it can to commit suicide. The suicide rate in the transgender community is the highest of any demographic. And since 2016, it has gone up exponentially. And I'm about to add one more to the list.

 

[CowardKnight]

As a gay cis man, I feel this so hard. I don't live in the USA, but I live in a country that has one of the highest hate crime rates of the region, so you can imagine. In my case I've been living in isolation for 3 years or so, I've lost count if I'm honest. I also live with my parents who are very homophobic so I'm not even completly safe at home. I'm terrified of people and I think I've developed a phobia of some sort, especially of people IRL.

Who did we hurt? Who did I hurt? Why is my life worth less than other people's lives?

I ask myself this question everyday. Apparently, we hurted them because we're a "threat" to their ideal version of the world.

These days I've been thinking that I actually AM a subspecies, like some kind of vermin that is deserving of extermination.

You're not, we're not a fucking subspecies. The real subspecies are social conservatives who think they're the superior race. Homo/transexuality exists in a lot of species in nature, homo/transphobia only exists in one. The ones that NEED extermination so the world can be better are those subhumans. If I was brave enough and lived in the USA, I'd get a gun and go to a place full of them, like a church or something, and do some cleaning. Most likely I'd get the death penalty but that would be amazing... win-win for me. But I'm a coward AND smart enough to know that'll just make things even worse and the social consequences will be awful... shit.

Now, I'm not going to convince you to not kill yourself or anything, because most likely I'll have to do the same thing soon (either that or somehow moving to another, "safer" country, but seeing how discrimination is increasing worldwide, I'm not sure).

But the thing is, don't hate yourself. Leave that hate to the subhumans, they deserve it. Not you. Don't waste it on yourself. We didn't do anything wrong. This isn't our fault. We're normal, this is part of our nature as humans. Those subhumans are NOT normal. They're a parasite that needs eradication. Even if we're going to die, we need to have some dignity, because, again, this is THEIR fault. Not ours. We didn't do anything wrong. We just want to exist.

 

[The Blackangel]

They'll argue this, but there are several species that can spontaneously change sex at any given moment. Usually it's due to the ratio of males & females being uneven and threatening breeding capabilities. And homosexuality is prevalent just about everywhere in the animal kingdom. And make no mistake, humans are part of that as we're just another animal on this planet. If you look at other primates, you will see homosexuality. It's most thoroughly documented in chimpanzees. And there are other species than primates where homosexuality is common. Do I wish I wasn't transgender? Hell yes. I wish I wasn't betrayed by my body. But I'm shit out of luck there.

Being legally declared an "unperson" during Adolf's first regime showed the world that in this shithole country we're not people. Someone could walk up and putva bullet through my head and only face a weapons charge at most. Because murder involves the killing of another person. And I'm legally NOT a person. I was hopeful that the Biden administration would address this, but even they abandoned and ignored us. I'm a hardcore Liberal Democrat. But I'm an LGBTQ+ rights activist first.

I haven't left my house in years unless I had no other choice. While cabin fever is driving me crazy, I've ended up becoming agoraphobic. My wife has to do all of our shopping, and I mean ALL of our shopping, completely alone. I'm dreading tomorrow because I'm being forced into an eye exam. My glasses broke and my prescription is out of date. I always get 2 pair for this very reason. But the other pair is lost somewhere around here.

I no longer enjoy the majority of things I used to. I'm a lifelong gamer, amateur webmaster, amateur author, and a bladesmith. I enjoy absolutely NONE of it. I don't even remember the last time I booted up a game or lit my forge. Which leaves me bored out of my mind for the vast majority of the day.

This life sucks.

 

[CowardKnight]

This life sucks indeed.

If it helps, I also need to go to a doctor soon, and I'm scared shitless. I'm scared that somehow the doctor will assume I'm gay based on my voice, how I move, or idk, anything, and harm me. So you're not alone in this.

Also I can really relate to not enjoying anything anymore. I used to love games too but now they're not enough to distract myself from the fact that this world wants to erase us (and doesn't help that most of the gaming community is very bigoted and full of those subhumans, ugh).

 

[The Blackangel]

It's true that a lot of the gaming community is bigoted and intolerant. Call Of Duty fans hate n00bs. They don't know the controls or how to do any kind of specific tasks. I can't really say a lot about that area because I don't do online gaming. The mere thought literally makes me sick to my stomach. I've tried several different games on several different platforms. I absolutely DESPISED every last one of them. I always play offline games. My all time favorite game is RDR2. I've logged over 15,000 hours on it and essentially become an encyclopedia. I even have "Outlaws For Life" tattooed on my arms with Rob Wiethoff (John Marston) and Roger Clark (Arthur Morgan) signatures tattooed there as well. I also have the same tattoo that Zell from Final Fantasy 8 has, just on the opposite side of my face.

And I can't remember the last time I played either of them. I'm an encyclopedia of FF8 too. I haven't hooked up my Nintendo systems either.

I also used to enjoy hopping in my car and going out for a drive. But with the price of gas and fear I'm dealing with, that is completely not an option. I'm at the eye doctor right now, and after that we're taking my prescription to a one hour place and I'm going to try to hide in my truck the best I can. My wife is driving because I'm hiding.

 

[CowardKnight]

Yeah I also only play offline/single player games too. Last month I tried getting into gaming again after some some time and started playing a game called ICO. Couldn't bring myself to finish it :/ I was so disconnected from the game while playing I just wasn't having fun. This fucking sucks.

Anyways, I suppose at the moment I'm writing this comment you're already done with your appointment. Hope things went well.

 

[Always-in-trouble]

It's true that a lot of the gaming community is bigoted and intolerant. Call Of Duty fans hate n00bs. They don't know the controls or how to do any kind of specific tasks. I can't really say a lot about that area because I don't do online gaming. The mere thought literally makes me sick to my stomach. I've tried several different games on several different platforms. I absolutely DESPISED every last one of them. I always play offline games. My all time favorite game is RDR2. I've logged over 15,000 hours on it and essentially become an encyclopedia. I even have "Outlaws For Life" tattooed on my arms with Rob Wiethoff (John Marston) and Roger Clark (Arthur Morgan) signatures tattooed there as well. I also have the same tattoo that Zell from Final Fantasy 8 has, just on the opposite side of my face.

And I can't remember the last time I played either of them. I'm an encyclopedia of FF8 too. I haven't hooked up my Nintendo systems either.

I also used to enjoy hopping in my car and going out for a drive. But with the price of gas and fear I'm dealing with, that is completely not an option. I'm at the eye doctor right now, and after that we're taking my prescription to a one hour place and I'm going to try to hide in my truck the best I can. My wife is driving because I'm hiding.

Fair, human interactivity is the point of online games, and it just sometimes brings out the worst qualities in people when you don't even expect it (Also, most of the business models are horrid and prey on people with bonkers prices for currencies.). What games did you used you play on your Nintendo stuff?

 

[The Blackangel]

What games did you used you play on your Nintendo stuff?

I'll list them by the first 3 systems.

NES
Zelda
Mario
Blaster Master
Legacy Of The Wizard
Punch Out (both versions)
Mega Man 3
T&C Surf Designs
TMNT 1
SNES
Blackthorne
Zelda
Mario
Earthworm Jim 2
Legend Of The Mystical Ninja
Mario Kart
Mortal Kombat 1 and 3 (didn't own 2)
Street Fighter 2 Turbo
Star Fox

N64
Conker's Bad Fur Day
Mario
Zelda OoT
Zelda MM
1080 Snowboarding
Mario Kart
Hexen
Banjo Kazooie
South Park


So there's a list of the most common games that I tended to play divided by system. But you also need to remember that I had systems like PS1, Sega Genesis, and Atari 2600. But I was a Nintendo girl, so I didn't play on them all that much.

 

[Always-in-trouble]

I'll list them by the first 3 systems.

NES
Zelda
Mario
Blaster Master
Legacy Of The Wizard
Punch Out (both versions)
Mega Man 3
T&C Surf Designs
TMNT 1
SNES
Blackthorne
Zelda
Mario
Earthworm Jim 2
Legend Of The Mystical Ninja
Mario Kart
Mortal Kombat 1 and 3 (didn't own 2)
Street Fighter 2 Turbo
Star Fox

N64
Conker's Bad Fur Day
Mario
Zelda OoT
Zelda MM
1080 Snowboarding
Mario Kart
Hexen
Banjo Kazooie
South Park


So there's a list of the most common games that I tended to play divided by system. But you also need to remember that I had systems like PS1, Sega Genesis, and Atari 2600. But I was a Nintendo girl, so I didn't play on them all that much.

Mega man 3 was fun when I played it. Don't remember much of it now and did not finish it, pretty sure it was the introduction of the slide right?

 

[The Blackangel]

Mega man 3 was fun when I played it. Don't remember much of it now and did not finish it, pretty sure it was the introduction of the slide right?

Yeah, Mega Man 3 is when Konami scripted the ability to slide in the game. It was also the debut of Rush and Proto Man.

 

[bloodlet]

Time to take up arms, i'd suggest a glock 43x for its conceal-ability, maybe getting a glock switch too if you're in some ghetto shithole..don't be be a pussy and hate back with just as much dehumanization, put that so called suicidal 'ideation' into practice by putting others into the ground first.