I wanted to live so much.

[FocusExpert]

I cannot describe how much. I am a very sensitive person, and I love life so much. So much. I love the music of Chopin, I love the starry sky. I love life in all its forms, I love the mystery of existence, and so on and so forth.
It pains me so much that I have to die. I cannot digest it. I wish I could cry a river to someone who would understand.

 

[patheticpartner]

You seem like you really embrace life or have in the past, and seeing you here despite your love and wonderment for life is very heartbreaking. I think we're similar? I'm easily content and grateful for my surroundings and potential, but I'm running on borrowed time as well, and I am unworthy and unable to live.

 

[hendry]

I totally agree. I loved, I love and I will love life, but I don't understand why I don't want to continue living. It becomes difficult.

 

[Meditation guide]

I love life in all its forms, I love the mystery of existence, and so on and so forth.
It pains me so much that I have to die. I cannot digest it. I wish I could cry a river to someone who would understand.

I understand. Same here.

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

I feel that way too. Despite knowing all the bad things in the world, I still love life and find it full of interesting things. I have so many passions. I love history, culture, art, music, theme parks, airplanes, architecture, military stuff, gaming, movies, tech, collecting hobbies, and etc. And etc.

I really wish I could just be comfortable in my skin, and just get absolute lost in this fascinating existence and all things in it, but alas I must go soon. I've been running on borrowed time for years, and things are becoming scarily ugly for me now...

 

[yetme]

I cannot describe how much. I am a very sensitive person, and I love life so much. So much. I love the music of Chopin, I love the starry sky. I love life in all its forms, I love the mystery of existence, and so on and so forth.
It pains me so much that I have to die. I cannot digest it. I wish I could cry a river to someone who would understand.

I feel you! Life is amazing and full of magic, but then you get ill and everything fades away//

 

[WornOutLife]

May I ask why you wanna ctb then?
Yo seem to love life so much! I wish I could feel the same.
Just please, don't do anything impulsive. You look like a lovely soul.

 

[Initiated]

I don't want to live but I have a mother, a sister and a father. I wish I was an orphan. Atleast no one would have been hurt if I killed myself.

 

[Jarni]

I cannot describe how much. I am a very sensitive person, and I love life so much. So much. I love the music of Chopin, I love the starry sky. I love life in all its forms, I love the mystery of existence, and so on and so forth.
It pains me so much that I have to die. I cannot digest it. I wish I could cry a river to someone who would understand.

Me too... Love very much all arts and (were) curious about everything in this life... There are so many things to discover, to study, to know, to make, to feel... So many beauty.... And I have also to die (illness)... I could never be in peace with this...

 

[Good4Nothing]

I want to love life, but it's a party I'm not invited to. I'm on the outside looking in, an observer, banned from participation. Everyone around me takes for granted the little things that would make my life worth living, but I'm not allowed to have. I'm the stray dog who gets kicked for wanting love and attention.

 

[mirko]

Seriously, I agree with every word you said. There so much beauty in this world if know where to look and the fact that I can't possibly enjoy it makes me want to kill myself.

 

[Dortydoo]

yeah life does have fun things to offer , i remember enjoying very little things in life like walking outside, enjoying weather and all that small stuff but i cant bring myself to enjoy anything anymore.

 

[sadworld]

I want to live but I'm only existing. Death seems more pleasant than existing...

 

[shadowchaser]

This post is beautiful. I agree so much.

I love the stars and mountains and even the shadows. But these I chase only because the light has faded.

 

[lonerclown666]

i wanted to enjoy life too but leaning the truth about everything make want to quit now

 

[NeverSatisfied]

There so much beauty in this world if know where to look and the fact that I can't possibly enjoy it makes me want to kill myself.

This. It's so sad too because I find myself trying so hard to enjoy it all but I just can't and I never could and know I never will. So what's the point of just existing miserably?

 

[Gnip]

I want to love life, but it's a party I'm not invited to. I'm on the outside looking in, an observer, banned from participation. Everyone around me takes for granted the little things that would make my life worth living, but I'm not allowed to have. I'm the stray dog who gets kicked for wanting love and attention.

This is me also. I blame the existence of school exclusively for ruining everything for me when I was six years old, and wish the public school system would get wiped out of existence. (That my parents were both elementary school teachers was another death blow, as is the existence of grades, a contrivance by history's laziest and greediest teacher in 1792, the evil Cambridge chemist and tutor William Farish.)

 

[ScaredGirl]

I wanted to live too but i couldnt i just exist in pain im going tonight and i just want to say im sorry<3 i jdont know you but you have my love

 

[JigsawFeelin]

it's such a bizarre feeling, isn't it?
Being attuned to things that completely slip under the radar of the average person
I have a friend who sounds similar to you, she made me look properly at the stars for this first time- I'd never done it. I'm sure you've done the same or similar for others.
You've a unique outset, and you sound like an emotionally in-tune and endlessly fascinated (and fascinating) person.
Maybe see your perspective as a reason to go on?
If the world is so open to you, it clearly wants you.

 

[fent_dnm27]

The universe is glorious. Nature is bountiful and limitless in its wonders.

Humans, cruel and stupid as we may be, can be so creative and inventive. Music, art, love, commerce, industry.... the world never ceases to amaze me.

I wish i had a fair shot at exploring/enjoying it all, but such is life. I've already lived and seen more than many humans who have come and gone before me. I should be thankful and grateful for what i've experienced.

To know that a peaceful, nearly painless death awaits me is another blessing. Things can go so much worse, after all.

 

[Keto]

Suicide is a form of attachment to life, of loving life. Many are suicidal because they love life so much, so when their expectation, dreams or ambitions couldn't be realized in real life, they fall into depression and despair.

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

same here. I used to be so in love in life. I would cry happy tears because of how greatful I was to be alive. But now I can't enjoy anything thanks to being drugged by psychiatry and my parents. it hurts so much not to be able to enjoy what I used to love so much :(