Venting I want to die ASAP.

[Busridin'26]

I wanna kill myself soon. I was attempting to possibly try to like get a reprieve like hospital stay and start eating again BUT nah I'm a pretty undeserving person. I am getting worse day by day and I am at a point where I don't want to get help.

Or like im hesitant bc I am so on the fence about it. Like why reach out even if it's just for the sake of stabilizing a lil...

My thinking is definitely getting a lot more black and white. I don't believe in support or help anymore.

Even my methods and what I am willing to do is changing a lil.

I hate the concept of N and how much work and money it can be. I also doubt if I'll be able to drink it. I just don't wanna fucking wait months for a method.

Àside from that I've always thought of drowning or hanging.

Those to me are a lot quicker and more accessible but def harder to execute.

I just don't wanna waste months. I have wanted to die for YEARS. i have sat and started to plan so many times. I just wanna die now...

I honestly don't care if I fail amymore tbh. I will try again regardless of the damage. I can't afford care if I was disabled to a severe degree sooo I will die regardless.

I domt have a future anymore.

Like YES it's becoming really really severe day by day. More impsulse or less care. Bc I just want to die. I am in pain and brain mushed. I don't even have the energy to live soo how the fuck am I even expecting myself to like stay around and up long enough for any complicated methods.

Nah. I would love to be gone this month and yeah def gonna start trying.

Starting to think what Ima be giving away and/ir throwing out.

I don't think I want my piece of shit family to go through any of my writing. So then I needa get rid of my diary collection...

Yeahh I'm jus getting further and further into my suicide.

 

[deathisnear]

Wow, almost every bit of this is what's in my mind and how I feel right now. I totally understand and you're not alone. I also keep getting further and further into my suicide, everything you said I have thought or am thinking. I feel like I'm finally past the point of no return and I am going to go through with it, I have no reason to live either and my depression/anxiety has been taken to unbearable levels. If you decide to go through with it, I wish you nothing but peace friend.

 

[RealLostSoul]

So true, I can't waste more months either. Also so burnt out can't even find a good method, still want this to be foolproof and without coming back as a cripple. it sucks big time.

 

[WornOutLife]

I wanna ctb ASAP too!
No matter how much my life improves, I just wanna sleep forever and ever!

 

[The Mute Viking]

Welcome to the struggle, komrade. <3

 

[FuneralCry]

I spend most of my time not wanting to be here. I just love the sound of eternal peace. It really is hard to die and it requires a lot of planning. We all deserve a peaceful way out if we want to leave this earth, nobody should be forced to live a life filled with suffering. I wish you well, existing really can be hard.

 

[Busridin'26]

Its like... im goin down down down. And this timè I am just letting it happen. I àm giving up. I getting used to and ok with shitty personal habits and self care...

I just want this all to end...as soon as possible... but I don't even kno the first way how....

Im weak in every area :(