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nomoredolor

nomoredolor

Specialist
Sep 7, 2024
370
I'm early 30s so it's unlikely for me to have a heart attack but I do have some minor heart related health issues. Yesterday I started to get intense pain in my chest. It was very painful and I immediately thought I was having a heart attack. I thought to myself that I may die. I had my phone in my hand and could've called for help but when I thought it could kill me I instantly relaxed and felt relief. The relaxation made the pain stop and I realized it just a severe muscle spasm in my chest. I was disappointed. This experience helped cement for me how much I truly want to die and how happy I would be if something else took me out so my family didn't have to deal with another suicide. And I wouldn't have to deal with the guilt of it. Just wanted to share.
 
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opheliaoveragain

opheliaoveragain

Global Mod
Jun 2, 2024
2,068
I can relate to this. after having disordered eating for nearly two decades my heart is technically ok but shit still occurs. I once thought the same thing and hoped I was right. clearly I wasn't bc i'm here.
 
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A

adiosyamevoy

Member
Oct 17, 2024
8
Recently I have chest pain in a plane and had the same sensation of peace thinking it was a heart attack, everything will end soon and I will not have to commit suicide. My family will suffer, but will accepted better than knowing my CTB intentions. So disappointed when the chest pain stop.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,398
I also just wish to be gone as well, in fact in my case ceasing to exist truly is all I've ever hoped for so I understand why you'd feel relief. But anyway I wish you the best.
 
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NoPoint2Life

Why is this so hard?
Aug 31, 2024
738
I have always wondered how I would deal if I thought I was having a heart attack. There's gotta still be some SI there, but it sounds like it didn't affect you too much as you didn't actually call for help.
 
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nomoredolor

nomoredolor

Specialist
Sep 7, 2024
370
I also just wish to be gone as well, in fact in my case ceasing to exist truly is all I've ever hoped for so I understand why you'd feel relief. But anyway I wish you the best.
Thank you I wish you the best too ❤️
I have always wondered how I would deal if I thought I was having a heart attack. There's gotta still be some SI there, but it sounds like it didn't affect you too much as you didn't actually call for help.
Totally relate - there was a time earlier this year where my doctor told me I was likely having a pulmonary embolism (I wasn't but didn't know that at the time) and told me to go to the ER. The SI kicked in hard for that one. But after sitting in the ER for a couple hours and calming down I felt much more at peace about it and started to write goodbye notes on my phone. So if you did experience SI with a heart attack that would also be totally normal. Hugs
 
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