bathinginmymisery
nothing satisfies me but your soul.
- Nov 9, 2024
- 5
I've been dating my boyfriend (22m) for about five months now. he's been my longest relationship and has made me incredibly happy each and every single day.
we had a fight recently
it was 10:00pm at night and i needed to get home. he lives in an apartment and he would not let me out because he was tired. I panicked and begged and than he finally let me out, telling me afterwards that he sees my differently and doesn't like how I treated him.
I didn't do anything mean or cruel, I didn't call him any names, or laid hands. I just panicked.
his attitude towards me changed. and i think today he's going to break up with me (currently 7:35am). he says he's not going to leave but i don't believe it. I think this time he's really going to.
we spoke about marriage. i found islam through him and he was my first ever consensual intimate experience. he's met my grandparents, we get on well with each others parents and we have discussed plans for the future. I can't let this go. this isn't just some poor two-week relationship like I have had in the past. this is someone I could potentially spend my life with. I want to.
but if it happens, I need painless ctb methods. im a coward and i dont want it to hurt. but i need to leave after this because when he goes i will have nobody and i will be so lonely again. I dont want to be lonely. id rather ctb than be lonely like i was before.
my life is dependent on what he wants to do with me. I just want him. I don't want a future with anybody else and if i can't have it than i won't have one at all.
we had a fight recently
it was 10:00pm at night and i needed to get home. he lives in an apartment and he would not let me out because he was tired. I panicked and begged and than he finally let me out, telling me afterwards that he sees my differently and doesn't like how I treated him.
I didn't do anything mean or cruel, I didn't call him any names, or laid hands. I just panicked.
his attitude towards me changed. and i think today he's going to break up with me (currently 7:35am). he says he's not going to leave but i don't believe it. I think this time he's really going to.
we spoke about marriage. i found islam through him and he was my first ever consensual intimate experience. he's met my grandparents, we get on well with each others parents and we have discussed plans for the future. I can't let this go. this isn't just some poor two-week relationship like I have had in the past. this is someone I could potentially spend my life with. I want to.
but if it happens, I need painless ctb methods. im a coward and i dont want it to hurt. but i need to leave after this because when he goes i will have nobody and i will be so lonely again. I dont want to be lonely. id rather ctb than be lonely like i was before.
my life is dependent on what he wants to do with me. I just want him. I don't want a future with anybody else and if i can't have it than i won't have one at all.
