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notrealzel

notrealzel

New Member
Jul 2, 2023
3
I genuinely believe I've reached my limit. I cry myself to sleep most nights, my racing thoughts and anxiety keep me awake. I beg and plead to any God out there to just put me out of my misery.

I'm constantly thinking about where everything went wrong and why I'm such a failure of a human being. Every time I try to get better, something happens to make me feel miserable and like an idiot all over again. I can't seem to do anything right. I make a fool out of myself everywhere I go.

Not even during or after my suicide attempt was I this miserable and in pain. Not even when I was cutting myself every other day. I would actually wish for those days back because at least I wasn't feeling how I feel now. i feel everything all at once and yet I feel nothing for no one. How is it even possible to live like this? How can anyone tell me I should go on when everyday is like walking on glass with bare feet?

Every single day I wish I was dead.

Every. Single. Day.

It was never this bad. I'd always find a way out of it but not anymore. I don't have the energy in me anymore to find even a sliver of hope.

Nothing brings me joy. No one brings me joy.

I see no future for myself and I have no desires to be romantically involved with anyone. My family feel like strangers who annoy the shit out of me everyday. I go out in public and of course some stupid shit has to happen to me. Im pathetic. And if it weren't for the fact that Im afraid of dying painfully then im sure I would've been long gone.

No one should ever have to deal with this sort of pain and I truly feel for all of you on here who go through the same or worse. I'm sorry.
 
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Holu

Holu

Hypomania go brrr
Apr 5, 2023
831
:(. Am so sorry to hear. Life sucks, humans suck, and the world can eat a dick.

Hope you are at least asleep rn. You deserve the quiet and peace.
 
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Reactions: darksouls and EmptyBottle
S

sambrosia

Member
Jun 10, 2025
69
So sorry you are going through that. I hear you. I can't tolerate my emotional pain, but I can't ctb. Torture.
 
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Reactions: darksouls
H

Hollowman

Empty
Dec 14, 2021
1,775
They tell you to go on because they could never imagine what it's like. I should've been gone long ago too.
 
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Reactions: darksouls

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