Venting I think I fucked my life up on purpose

[pedro3211]

I fucked up many relationships, school, jobs and my fitness goals. I think I did this on purpose as a form of self harm or something. I only really have myself to blame. I wish things weren't as they were. I wish I was normal and able to cope with life like other people. I either have to live being unhappy everyday or CTB and right now I'm not low enough/too scared to CTB.

 

[meowpuppy]

same.. this is just my life.. i always somehow ruin everything

 

[csites]

Same over here as well. Over a long time I've managed to, sometimes unintentionally, sometimes intentionally, impulsively just to hurt myself, manage to take almost everything nice out of my life.

 

[Spite]

You took the words right out of my mouth. It's... yeah... I feel like most of my problems and troubles are self-inflicted. Not all of the bad things that have happened in my life have been my fault, but there have been quite a lot of times where I've fucked up and I only have myself to blame.

I'm at that same point too - do I continue living, carrying the guilt and being entrenched in profound unhappiness for the rest of my days? Or do I pull the plug on it all right now? It's very hard to decide.

 

[pedro3211]

I don't think I have the balls to do it, but I don't want to live either