Not as in I can't bring myself to. I mean that instead of ending it I kind of just want to drift in this state of cold depression and loneliness indefinitely instead of ever doing anything again. Just I guess be left alone to mentally torture myself forever instead of not being alive anymore. I hate myself, have extreme depression and I'm pretty sure I'll be alone forever, there's definitely hope for me but right now... That's just how I feel.
-
Hey Guest,
We wanted to share a quick update with the community.
Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.
👉 View the ledger hereOver the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.
If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.
Donate via cryptocurrency:
Bitcoin (BTC):Ethereum (ETH):Monero (XMR):
mizukii
I only exist online^_^
- Feb 21, 2025
- 5
Im sorry to hear it,i also have been a similiar situation,killing myself scares me and i always fear i'll regret it before I die so instead i "forced" myself to get worse. Being left alone in such a state like that is terrible so i really hope you can find medical help,heal and find friends that can help you n make you feel less lonely. I believe there is always hope no matter the situation. Im sorry if I misunderstood somehow; stay safe
foggyskies_
In traveling, companionship- in life, sympathy.
- Dec 16, 2024
- 53
Yeah, I relate... just wanting to rot away alone in my bed with nobody knowing me. I hope you find peace somehow.
SchrodingerIsDed
Arcanist
- Feb 17, 2025
- 415
I hear you. If this is just a vent, I know what that feels like, and I'm glad you're expressing it.
If you want solutions:
Check out this thread. Pretty much goes over everything you should be doing. If you're not doing those things, your depression will be much worse: https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...rior-to-considering-a-suicide-attempt.195020/
That's what depression does. It makes you want to not do anything. In order to beat it, you have to do stuff. It's hard, but even small steps can be tremendous victories. Going outside for a moment and feeling the grass on your feet or the sun in your eyes. I used to view my depression, back when I had it--so I speak from experience--as my worst enemy attempting to hold me down and take advantage of me. In order to beat it, I had to do what it didn't want me to do. But I'm a rebel type, so that's just what worked for me: saying, "You're trying to control me? Fuck you." Something different might work for you, but if you view that depression as someone else inside you who is trying to hurt you, maybe you can come up with your own way out.
