I should just find a building and jump

[aneurysm]

I just want to get drunk and jump, or drown.

Either way.

It's been a while since the last time I have felt like this. Only this time, I have more strength and energy. To do it.

But not enough.
I'll have to wait.

wow, I just realized my fate is inevitable :')
I'll actually have to kill myself.

I can tell you that being a Muslim and leaving in an extremely religious country isn't helping. No way to CTB at home, I'll have to wait to leave the country to do it anyway

 

[Sensei]

I feel that it's inevitable that I will die by my own hand, but I'm not sure it has to happen *now*, and I assume the same goes for you. You should wait until your time comes, if it ever does.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Can you leave the country when you want to?

 

[aneurysm]

Can you leave the country when you want to?

Yes, I just stay because here I don't have to work.

but also no because I don't have money and my relationship with my parents is to bad for me to ask money to them

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Could you get a job abroad?
They might sponsor your flight