I should have killed myself 5 years ago

[lonerclown666]

So i will avoid to suffer more i will stop to hurt others to avoid to become the monster that i am i am already in hell
this life is nothing but a real life nightmare for me never knew i will end like this

 

[deletednumber]

Me too:(

 

[whywere]

Reading your post really made me sad for you. I, in my 65 years on this rock called Earth, have had a lot of ups AND downs. Been there, done that, and with that said I really want you to know that you are truly loved and cared about by me. I do not say anything lightly and this is no exception. You are a global family member and I want you to believe in the fact that you are a very vital part of our global family and I could never envision this site without you. I send you lots of SUPPORT, hugs, love and the fact that you are cared about. I hope that you have a beautiful sunny day to relax, regroup and bask in the knowledge that YOU are loved. Walter ( yep real first name, 65 years young, gray hair and never phony)

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Reading your post really made me sad for you. I, in my 65 years on this rock called Earth, have had a lot of ups AND downs.

I have a question for you: do you just get used to suicide ideation after awhile? I can't even imagine living to 65 years old. That number seems like a magical fairytale to me.

It would really suck to live that long against your will. Do you eventually accept life for what it is?

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah, I should've killed myself exactly at my 30s, when I became a NEET.

Things are quite good now but, I don't wanna get any older lol.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can relate. I have wanted death for a long time really. Staying alive is just delaying the inevitable. Death is our true purpose and intention really. Human life is pointless. I do dread getting older.

 

[Roseate]

So i will avoid to suffer more i will stop to hurt others to avoid to become the monster that i am i am already in hell
this life is nothing but a real life nightmare for me never knew i will end like this

What makes you think you're becoming a monster?

 

[Thatdude]

I have a question for you: do you just get used to suicide ideation after awhile? I can't even imagine living to 65 years old. That number seems like a magical fairytale to me.

It would really suck to live that long against your will. Do you eventually accept life for what it is?

Based on their post and lack of content from op. I'm pretty sure they are her mostly to tell people that others love them and they shouldn't die.
Like I have doubts they are her for any other reason than to browse or to "save" people.

Anyways, I'm about half their age and to answer your question. I found its situational. Like hope is a double edge sword. Sometimes you hope for a better future and push for it, and you get it. Sometimes it's the same as before. And sometimes it's worse. In fact, most of the time it's worse based on my experience.

Anyways, I think some people find that thing to attach to so they have enough motivation to live. Sometimes it's good like living for their kids, and other times it's stupid like being able to see the next TV show. IMO if someone really wants to die this second, it isn't that hard with the info provided here. But I think most want to test if they will be more comfortable or less before they die. Like I think most are on that verge and if they become more uncomfortable then that will push them. But if they become more comfortable, then they have more reason to stay alive. If they stay the same, I think sooner or later they will adapt or die.

 

[whywere]

I have a question for you: do you just get used to suicide ideation after awhile? I can't even imagine living to 65 years old. That number seems like a magical fairytale to me.

It would really suck to live that long against your will. Do you eventually accept life for what it is?

To answer your question is hard, because it is a yes and no. I have had 2 attempts and I have had suicide ideation all my life. Some days it is ok and I get through the day ok and other days it is hell. No, I do not think that I will ever get used to the aspect of suicide ideation. I have through the decades always have a back up, as far as if it is a crappy day, I think of something that is coming up for me that will bring joy and also this site is so important for me as a support pillar. I was thinking about that the other day as far as gee, where did the last 5 decades go? As far as accepting life, the short answer is yes. I know what I am up against, and after2 attempts, with the help of everyone here, I plug along through the day. Sending you lots of support and hugs and a sunny day. Walter

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Same. I wish SN had been available to me 7 years ago, I could have succeed.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

SAME then I would've not experienced what makes me want to do it in the first place, win win.

 

[dietsodamnsad]

I feel the same way. I wish my first attempt 7 years ago had worked.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Wish I did it right after high school graduation no reason to suffer more years hoping things to change when they don't

 

[TowerUpright]

If I would have known about SN, I would have died three years ago. Now, it looks like I'll be in this rock even longer than I care to be.

 

[Hq633910]

I wish I would have been successful on my first attempt. I wouldn't have had to deal with abusive and controlling relationships. Trying to cope with abuse I've suffered as a child. Bad choices I've made through my life. Never feeling fully accepted as "this is who I am"