I sad that people shame virgins

[lonerclown666]

Even in suicide forums people shame others because they cant get woman we are really the worst of all hey if you got gf or wife al least u had something in life while people like me will die virgin

 

[x_LittleAmy_x]

I started a thread on how I hadn't 'done it' yet and nobody shamed me on here.

 

[lofticries]

There are actually some people on here because of their wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend. Having a romantic relationship doesn't mean all your problems go away. Hell it might even complicate things in the long run.

Also there are quite a few virgins on this forum myself included.

 

[Brink]

Has anyone actually shamed you @lonerclown666, or do you have any examples? Otherwise, it sounds like you're just an extremist who blames other people and entire communities for their clouded perceptions of the world and imagined abuse.

 

[vrotka]

As people before me said, not being a virgin and having a relationship doesn't always mean everything is good and dandy. Abusive relationships, partner not understanding your struggles etc are a thing. Even if you scored a quick hook up to lose virginity you never know how the experience will go and the person might be shitty and turn you off sexual contacts.

I myself, came to a conclusion that being desperate about losing or keeping virginity is super unhealthy and we should just think of it as another new experience, nothing goundbreaking. And of course make sure it's a comfortable one.

And anyone shaming others for being a virgin is a massive asshole and probably deeply insecure anyway.

 

[WornOutLife]

If somebody here really shamed you because you haven't had sex, you should report them. Any kind of "bullying" is against the rules.
We're here to support each other.

However, I don't understand why there's such a taboo for those who are virgin.
Sex is just sex. It won't change your life so, why brag about it?
My experience has taught me that those who brag about the sex they had and probaby have premature sex and haven't really enjoyed it.

With or without sex, we're stil humans.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I even call myself an incel for the luls and no one has attacked me aside from one joke that I will never forget. No one seems to mind me being a NEET, either, or a hard determinist, or even that I often talk about my penis without any context.

I would object to the people reducing the effect of romantic relationships on mental health for young (age will make a huge difference, I am not talking about boomers here), lonely men (women seem to deal with this in a much better way, usually due to actually having a sexual/romantic history). Every single time someone like me gets a gf they're like "ok finally, bye, I'm recovering". And almost everyone that manages to recover usually at least has some previous positive sexual/romantic history (if not obtaining a relationship during or prior to the recovery), coincidence?

But I do agree that it's certainly no panacea and that mental problems like PTSD and shit won't go away by fucking.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Advising someone who wants to experience love to find comfort in the fact that relationship can suck is the equivalent of suggesting to a suicidal person he shouldn't feel suicidal because african children die of hunger.

 

[demuic]

Even in suicide forums people shame others because they cant get woman we are really the worst of all hey if you got gf or wife al least u had something in life while people like me will die virgin

You are the one who has gone onto the thread of someone experiencing problems due to romantic relationships to complain about yourself. I see you like to misrepresent the situation to try and earn pity though.

boo hoo people like me will die without having a gf

You said this on someone's thread who wants to die due to a breakup. If that's not shaming I don't know what is. Quite hypocritical...

 

[Makko]

I can't wait until I gain my wizard powers and can unleash Virgin Ball. We'll see who's going to shame who then.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

A sex life (or lack of) should not be an indicator of whether or not someone is a good person; just as in the same way being wealthy does not mean a person has a solid work-ethic - for example. Shaming someone for being very sexually active - "slut shaming" is wrong, and likewise ridiculing someone for not having sex - "virgin shaming" is equally wrong.

This is not to say that your feelings are invalid. Human beings crave intimacy (not just sexually) with others, so to not experience this - in a way - is a form of loneliness, and loneliness is painful - we are after all pack animals naturally. So if you do feel down because of your virginity it is totally understandable - and normal. At the same time, however, losing your virginty may not remove your suicidal thoughts - unless of course you are suicidal because of a lack of a sex life. Assuming that you are not suicidal because of this though, and instead because of other reasons: then it will definitely not help. An infinite number of romantic partners, candle-lit meals and cheek clapping will not remove deep unhappiness; in the same way a skin plaster will not heal a malignant tumour.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Closest thing to virgin shaming I've experienced here is when people who aren't virgins say it's not all that. For me the loneliness stems from the fact that I've been too stubborn to do it with just anyone. I wish it was possible to just lower my standards but I need at least an emotional connection with someone in the first place then there's the people from my past I'll inevitably compare them to and it just isn't fair.

Being in a bad relationship or losing out on a good one is hundreds of times worse than not being in one at all. I know it doesn't feel that way but think about it like this, someone could be making millions of dollars but still have a hollow and miserable life because of all the responsibilities they have to uphold to keep that money. Yes they have something you don't that you want but they're still suffering in their own way and they can't solve both your problems by just giving you what they have so why get mad over it? I don't think complaining about ones own bad situation counts as virgin shaming at least.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

There's nothing wrong with being a virgin, society places too much value on sexuality and shames those who don't have those proclivities as well as those who have a hard time finding a romantic partner. Of course most people, (unless you are asexual or just have no desire for this sort of thing) will want a taste of sexuality during their lifetime, so I understand the anticipation of wanting something that seems out of reach.

I know it must be frustrating to crave intimacy and have no outlet for it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or anyone else for being virgins. The number of times that you have sex shouldn't make a difference either in how you're perceived- what matters is if the experience is meaningful and enjoyable for you and your partner.

Sadly there's a lot of pissing contests about how has the most sex. It's a construct and has no bearing on your worth as a person. I will say that I wish I could delete all the bad and nonconsentual sexual experiences from my brain so that they wouldn't plague me anymore, and that I would rather have one good sexual encounter than the multitude of horrible ones that I've been forced to partake in.

We all deserve to be loved and to have genuine human connections. I hope one day you can experience intimacy and will not be shamed by society for your struggles with it.

 

[WatermelonMel]

Which Suicide forums are shaming you for being a virgin?

 

[sunsetintehwoods]

Virginity is ok

 

[Mentalmick]

Who gives a fuck about being a virgin, it's the closeness and intimacy I miss/want.

 

[eve2004]

Advising someone who wants to experience love to find comfort in the fact that relationship can suck is the equivalent of suggesting to a suicidal person he shouldn't feel suicidal because african children die of hunger.

Yes, it is hard for someone who has had sex to advise someone who has not with any credibility. It is true, however, that many people have had their first relationships later in life and they were fulfilling.

But no one should be shamed for ANYTHING in life. Least of all, here.