I really wanted to live but now I realise I dont belong this world

[FireFox]

As I grow older I finally realise life wasn't meant for me. I do not belong here in this world. It all makes sense now. The rejection, humiliation and hurt from the men who causes me pain throughout my life, the years of school bullying, my closet friends abandoning me when I needed them and the struggling to fit in throughout my life. I am too different even in my own family I am an outsider.

I really wanted to live and have a happy life doing amazing things. I wanted to travel the world, working in a career making a difference in the world, a future with a man who actually loved me for the person I am and just having exciting experiences. Looking back now none of this was ever meant to be. I am 25 and at 30 I am catching the bus because I am not going through another decade anymore. I wake up every morning and I can feel don't belong here in this world, I feel so unwanted and lost.
I am cursed and not normal. Everyone else around I grew up has found love but I am always getting rejected that is not normal. I am too different in so many ways nobody can relate to my experiences and its so isolating. Ashamed my life is a failure this is best option I have to prevent myself having an future.

 

[Zegers]

I also didn't think my track would be like this, i thought i would have a career to climb, exciting things to want to do, some friends at least and i see myself on a rat wheel, it's like a nightmare especially didn't think that by now i would be so mentally affected that id be in this black cloud all the time.

I don't know how long all this will take, i guess get what I need and planning for it.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also feel like I am not meant for life. In my case, I never should have existed in the first place. This life really is so cruel and unfair, and it is sad how so much suffering exists. I hope that you find relief.

 

[blue_muse]

I also feel like I am not meant for life. In my case, I never should have existed in the first place. This life really is so cruel and unfair, and it is sad how so much suffering exists. I hope that you find relief.

It's toxic positivity; that everyone finds their place in life.

 

[Sun n showers]

But how do we exit from here, its so dam difficult