i own SN and i can end my life whenever i want

[ameliorateme]

im so sick of being alive. i wish i wasnt so scared to CTB. what can i do to make it easier? i have family and a girlfriend that will miss me, but i dont know if i even care anymore. im in so much pain, but its so scary to end it all.

 

[jodes2]

Time helps with SI, there comes a point for many when the suffering just has gone on too long and consequences become old thoughts

 

[theboy]

The survival instinct cannot be eliminated but it is possible to control it. I guess when you feel calm knowing you're going to die, it's the right time.
It is inevitable that our loved ones will not suffer. Doing CTB is a crude decision.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess that many people get so desperate and all that they want is to escape which allows them to get over any fears they may have. With having SN it means you have a way to exit for when the time is right by your side. I know that for many it can be a relief having the option of SN. I think that it sounds easier going through with ctb with a method like SN rather than hanging or jumping, but of course we are all programmed to survive and the SI can make ctb difficult no matter the method. I understand being tired of everything, life is just too cruel. I hope that you find freedom from your suffering. Best wishes.

 

[Worndown]

Sometimes having the method in hand can give you a control over your life that was previously missing. It might actually have a calming effect.

If not...the day when your need to exit is greater than your fears and SI, it will happen.

I hope calm is in your future.

 

[ameliorateme]

If not...the day when your need to exit is greater than your fears and SI, it will happen.

i hope that happens soon. i constantly feel so miserable. it is very relieving knowing that i am able to do it whenever i want though. thank you to all who have replied so far

 

[Funeralprincess]

Time helps with SI, there comes a point for many when the suffering just has gone on too long and consequences become old thoughts

Yes I agree. Time will aid in decreasing SI, especially when you're all alone and abandoned by people. Time makes killing yourself easier when you realize nobody actually cares

 

[jodes2]

Yes I agree. Time will aid in decreasing SI, especially when you're all alone and abandoned by people. Time makes killing yourself easier when you realize nobody actually cares

Plus worrying about others decreases when length of suffering goes up. Reasons for staying like guilt hurting others decreases

 

[Hollowillow]

Desperation might motivate me once I plan well enough...