I need friends to talk to who relates to me about this

[glitterypearls]

I am stuck some days wanting to CTB and some days I try so hard at life and attempt to go out and mix with people
anyone else like me? I would like to talk to people as friends who experience same thing
Above 26yo please. I feel so fake for not CTBing by now, I feel very alone about that
I feel like I had a point where all I thought of is CTBing then 1 year I tried hard to not to, I built a life not good life but a life
so now I feel like I shouldnt waste this "life" but some days I just cant stand living anymore and I want to CTB

very frustrating.

 

[ravendrops]

I'm 42 trans woman but I'd chat if you ever wanted. I have no friends.

 

[restingplace]

I feel quite similar.

At a base line I don't like any part of living itself, even the good but I still feel as if maybe there's a point in trying to build up the best version of myself?

I feel if I don't, and I give up on everything, it'll make my death a lot more painful.

 

[vitbar]

Very relatable. I got treatment and want to die less of the time. Still it takes my all to keep afloat. While I do enjoy things about my life, some days I want to throw it all away. This makes me feel some guilt because my life is ok now.

 

[isthisthingon]

Do you think you're bipolar? It sort of sounds like the same thing I deal with.

 

[glitterypearls]

Do you think you're bipolar? It sort of sounds like the same thing I deal with.

I do have BPD, maybe that's why. it's so frustrating

Very relatable. I got treatment and want to die less of the time. Still it takes my all to keep afloat. While I do enjoy things about my life, some days I want to throw it all away. This makes me feel some guilt because my life is ok now.

I am the same way, I feel like I worked hard at making my life be "okay" so leaving would ruin that but also at the same time I have days where I can't function and I just want to CTB. I think what mostly stop me is not having an accessible method.

I feel quite similar.

At a base line I don't like any part of living itself, even the good but I still feel as if maybe there's a point in trying to build up the best version of myself?

I feel if I don't, and I give up on everything, it'll make my death a lot more painful.

I totally agree with you, it's how I feel too, everytime I come close to CTBing I keep thinking "I'll give it one more try first" it's non ending cycle.

I'm 42 trans woman but I'd chat if you ever wanted. I have no friends.

of course, send me a private message and let's talk