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Secondaryhuman722

Secondaryhuman722

New Member
Jan 1, 2025
3
I have missed out on everything and have spent my life playing catchup and I hate it, I hate sitting around and watching everyone successful and happy because they get to be, I don't. I wish I was athletic like everyone else but my perfectionism has ruined all of that, I can't try sports because If I mess up my fear of people laughing and making fun of me will take over so I quit forever, the other kids did not quit.

I hate sitting and watching everyone cuddle their partners and stuff like that, I was never able to do that because I have social anxiety disorder so I can never talk to someone I am interested in, and the one time I was able to overcome that fear I was rejected so now i'm for sure never going to try that again.

All I ask is to be accepted and liked by others, but that will never happen because I am unlikeable idiot who's bad at everything. Why did the world have to punish me by placing me here? I don't understand why I was placed here if my only purpose was to be the local punching bag for a town with a population of 54K. It's truly traumatizing being made fun of for the smallest infractions and I don't think I can take it anymore.

I have been on suicide watch since I was 4 years old, and after being hospitalized once I realized the only way to succeed as a suicidal person is to never tell anybody anything, because then you'll lose 11 months of your life.
 
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