Venting I might die never experiencing romantic love

[jojobanana]

I feel like a moody teenager constantly thinking about this. After the hundredth failed situationship, I have finally come to terms with the fact that I will possibly never experience romantic love.

I'm 25. I know I'm young. I know I have more life to live, therefore it's possible. But I've dated a lot in my life.

I have been ugly and overweight for the majority of my life, so I was never really a consideration as a romantic partner for any of my peers growing up. That was insulting to them.

In the last year or so, I've lost a significant amount of weight and have received a lot of interest. I'm torn when people tell me I'm beautiful because they told me this back then too, but I feel deeply like it was a lie to make me feel better about myself. I feel sorry looking at my old pictures, especially the ones where I felt beautiful, because I feel like I look disgusting. So it's hard to trust people when they tell me I am beautiful now. Some of my friends have told me to model, but this feels so false? There are so many truly beautiful women.

Anyway, the type of interest I get now is no different from the type I got back then. It's purely sexual. I am used and thrown away. No one I have dated is truly keen to call me their girlfriend or show me off. I had that for one month, but he realised I was boring and extremely weird and lopped me off instantly.

So, in spite of everything, I still have my personality to contend with. There is something wrong with me. I repel people, even kind, open-minded people. Anything close to love feels like a joke or like someone is playing a prank on me. So, I don't expect it anymore. And I know I will likely die without ever knowing this feeling.

 

[endlesschatter]

We often don't like how we look even when we look good..we just compare ourselves with others but due to our poor self image we are never able to believe that we are good enough.
So, just be who you are, be confident in who you are. It's not the looks that really matter, it's the charm and the charisma

 

[fadedghost]

We often don't like how we look even when we look good..we just compare ourselves with others but due to our poor self image we are never able to believe that we are good enough.
So, just be who you are, be confident in who you are. It's not the looks that really matter, it's the charm and the charisma

I really disagree with this. Some people are genuinely unattractive and saying just be charming and charismatic is unfair to people who are actually ugly who will be treated poorly if hitting on most people almost no matter what.

Fantasy language of "it gets better" and "everyone is beautiful" doesn't help people actually suffering in reality.

As for OP, without a picture, there's no way to know if your friends are lying or not. But if no one wanted to date you in your teens and early 20s and now you dieted or took Ozempic or whatever and look more healthy, how you were treated before may not be how youre treated in the next few years?

 

[endlesschatter]

I really disagree with this. Some people are genuinely unattractive and saying just be charming and charismatic is unfair to people who are actually ugly who will be treated poorly if hitting on most people almost no matter what.

Fantasy language of "it gets better" and "everyone is beautiful" doesn't help people actually suffering in reality.

As for OP, without a picture, there's no way to know if your friends are lying or not. But if no one wanted to date you in your teens and early 20s and now you dieted or took Ozempic or whatever and look more healthy, how you were treated before may not be how youre treated in the next few years?

Well.. i get your point.. But the truth is, attraction may have got initially to do with looks, but i also have known "ugly" guys and girls attracting beautiful or handsome partner. So, I'm not talking about wishful thinking or toxic positivity.
I'm talking from the point of actual observations.
If you feel you are ugly, you'll feel ugly and will be unattractive.. But if you think you are ugly but are comfortable in your own skin, confident about yourself, you will highly likely attract a partner.

Game of attraction works very differently than we think
Alright, there was a time before I improved my looks, i used to look ugly and unattractive af, still my crush, said i love you to me..
And she meant it

 

[fadedghost]

i also have known "ugly" guys and girls attracting beautiful or handsome partner.

Then they were either rich and being used or not actually ugly. This absolutely is toxic positivity and it's dishonest to people who are suffering and in real pain.

Attitude can be everything for people who are "ugly" but not for people who are ugly, without quotes.

This is new age garbage and if you belive in this stuff, why are you on SaSu? Can't you just new age attitude your way to wanting to live?