I may have just genuinely trashed my mind and given myself psychosis.

[lifecouldbedream]

So far the past week or so has looked like this:

Day 1 - 600mg DXM

Day 2 - 600mg DXM

Day 3 - 150mg DXM

Day 4 - 300mg DXM + 300mg DPH

Day 5 - 420mg DXM + 300mg DPH

Day 6 - 360mg DXM + 350mg DPH

I smoked weed on all of these trips as well. Yes, I am aware of how incredibly stupid doing this was. My body feels numb and my thoughts and memories feel distant. My inner voice has dissipated and I feel like I'm living in a dystopian hellish world. I'm getting delusions like "DPH is opening your mind. Keep taking and you will see the true reality!" or "You have been repeating the past 2 months in a time loop which is why it has been feeling like the same thing everyday! The only way to break out of it is to open your mind!" and I actually believe them for a moment.

This may be the thing that finally pushes me to CTB. For the unknowledged, DXM is a cough med dissasociative and DPH is an allergy med anticholinergic deliriant. Both are neurotoxic, DPH very much so.

 

[whatevs]

Did you have any interesting hallucinations? Also, why the fuck are you drugging yourself every single day of a whole week with deliriants?

Having your 'inner voice' dissipated is a negative? What do you mean there?

 

[lifecouldbedream]

Did you have any interesting hallucinations? Also, why the fuck are you drugging yourself every single day of a whole week with deliriants?

Having your inner voice dissipated is a negative? What do you mean there?

Usually I would just hear people talking in the distance. One interesting one was a woman in a cloth robe twitching. I reached my arm out to her, and she responded by whipping her neck and lunging at me. When she got close to me she disentegrated into pink dots.

I am doing this mainly because I have an extremely high tendency to get addicted to things. I believe every person who uses DPH recreationally can also say that this is an extremely addictive substance. In a way it is also a form of self harm for me as part of me wants to destroy myself so I don't have to live consciously in this world. I am too afraid to CTB but I can easily destroy myself with pills and then it won't matter anymore.

My inner voice dissipating is a negative because it is harder to pinpoint what is going on in my head now. I used to have an amazing ability to analyze my own mind and thoughts and now that is gone and all my thoughts are much more screwy feeling. I feel like I have truly lost my mind.

 

[Ninaea]

I doubt it. If you gave yourself 3-4 days with no substances and a healthy 7-9 hours of sleep each night, you'd probably be back to baseline for the most part.

 

[Seiko]

DPH trips are a fucking nightmare; shadow people and whatnot. The hallucinations are the worst.

 

[virgilwalks]

Can you possibly give yourself a bit of time without the substances - to clarify your point of view.

 

[its-about-time]

Drugs cause hallucinations. Welcome to drugs. Don't be surprised by it. The good news is even after doing so many drugs any sort of drug-induced psychosis will go away within a few weeks. Unless you are very unlucky.