Venting I lost everything

[angelhopes]

I genuinely don't know how to start anymore since I've lost everything I love. This only hope that I was looking forward to was now completely gone and I don't know what to do anymore.

I imagine ctb almost everyday and thinking about how the people who did this to me would act so shock and friendly again all of a sudden now that Im gone telling everyone how they miss me when they literally left me at my lowest.

 

[kfalco4]

I don't know your full situation, but I may have gone through something similar. A person I was close to and care about much more than myself was there for me, and then they had to leave me at my lowest. I don't blame them though, I understand some people are wired differently and shut down when someone else talks about ctb. I'm not trying to tell you it's right or that it gets better, just to see a different view. I wouldn't blame an autistic person from missing on emotional cues.

If I do decide to ctb, they'll probably grieve for a very short season, but ultimately move on I think.

 

[endboss]

After 6 years of constantly worsening tinnitus, the pain, the isolation, the desperation.. i can say that i have no friend left in this world. everyone moved on while this affliction pushes me towards ctb every day now..