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failedmind

failedmind

Member
Oct 31, 2024
82
I just wrote my suicide note.
In my 24 years, I've written countless suicide notes with no set plan, but this time it's real. I'm actually going to CTB in the next few months. So surreal. I feel so guilty for the hurt I'm going to cause the few people that love me. I hope in time they can forgive me. I haven't stopped crying for about an hour. It's really setting in that this is going to happen. I'll finally be free.
I feel sad and grateful. Sad for the pain I will cause but grateful that I found this site and I can CTB and leave on my own terms.
Finally.
 
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avalokitesvara

avalokitesvara

bodhisattva
Nov 28, 2024
240
Hugs. Sorry it has got to this point for you🌹
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,469
I wish you the best, I hope you find the peace from suffering you search for.
 
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futurecorpse

futurecorpse

Aren't We All?
Jan 23, 2025
184
I've also written several suicide notes, and I intend for my most recent note to be my last. I also feel guilty about leaving certain family members behind, but I know that ctb is the right decision for me. I'm not much older than you, but I know what it's like constantly wanting to be free and finally be at peace. It makes me cry a lot too. My mind is set. Sending you hugs and I hope you get the peace you deserve 🫂
 
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failedmind

failedmind

Member
Oct 31, 2024
82
I've also written several suicide notes, and I intend for my most recent note to be my last. I also feel guilty about leaving certain family members behind, but I know that ctb is the right decision for me. I'm not much older than you, but I know what it's like constantly wanting to be free and finally be at peace. It makes me cry a lot too. My mind is set. Sending you hugs and I hope you get the peace you deserve 🫂
Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot to me.
Crazy how some people think CTB is the easy way out. Hardest decision ever with so many different emotions.
Sending hugs back to you 🫂
 
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MatrixPrisoner

MatrixPrisoner

Enlightened
Jul 8, 2023
1,834
What a shame...most people are on the verge of hitting their prime at 24. I am so sorry your luck has dictated otherwise. I hope you have at least a couple of decent days, where good things happen to you, before you go.
 
futurecorpse

futurecorpse

Aren't We All?
Jan 23, 2025
184
Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot to me.
Crazy how some people think CTB is the easy way out. Hardest decision ever with so many different emotions.
Sending hugs back to you 🫂
Of course 🫶 Definitely not easy for you and me! A lot of thought and consideration has been placed into this decision. Maybe it's easy for some people, but there are exceptions. but there are exceptions. Anyone who says it's a shame because we are still young really doesn't get it and doesn't know our whole story.
 
Last edited:
failedmind

failedmind

Member
Oct 31, 2024
82
Of course 🫶 Definitely not easy for you and me! A lot of thought and consideration has been placed into this decision. Maybe it's easy for some people, but there are exceptions. Anyone who says it's a shame because we are still young really doesn't get it and doesn't know our whole story.
Yes exactly. They don't know our story.
I get told that I'm young and things will get better, and while I know they mean well, they just don't understand. I even wrote in my note that I'm aware I might miss out on things, but I'd rather miss out than keep suffering.
I'm sorry you feel this hurt too, but you've made me not feel so alone in this. 🤍
 
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needthebus

needthebus

Voted SaSu™ Member Most Likely to Succeed
Apr 29, 2024
774
I just wrote my suicide note.
In my 24 years, I've written countless suicide notes with no set plan, but this time it's real. I'm actually going to CTB in the next few months. So surreal. I feel so guilty for the hurt I'm going to cause the few people that love me. I hope in time they can forgive me. I haven't stopped crying for about an hour. It's really setting in that this is going to happen. I'll finally be free.
I feel sad and grateful. Sad for the pain I will cause but grateful that I found this site and I can CTB and leave on my own terms.
Finally.
I feel your genuine honesty and pain. Sending love to you. <3

It's such a hard decision and a difficult path to travel. Sending you virtual hugs.
 
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