Im 41, ex Army (British) and have PTSD and depression. In Feb I had a bad episode with PTSD and was signed off work for 2 weeks, during that time the woman I loved more than anything and who I lived with ended it. Lockdown was called and we had to carry on living together until 5 weeks ago when we both moved out. In this time Ive also lost my job and Ive tried to CTB once by OD on anti depressants and painkillers and alcohol, unfortunately woke up in hospital. 3 days later I tried partial hanging but the ex came back from work and saved me. This last week I have tried again 40 sleeping pills and half a bottle of vodka and walked the streets for 5 hours (i was told, cant remember a thing apart from waking in hospital. Yesterday I tried partial hanging from my room (in a shared house) and I blacked out it feel peaceful then all I remember is gasping for breath and being on the floor.... I cant go on another day I just want some peace. How do so many people find it easy to CTB yet I cant even do that!
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mathieu
Enlightened
- Jun 5, 2019
- 1,090
plough22
Living but not really, just surviving
- May 1, 2020
- 226
I am 42 bud, suffering from PTSD, anxiety depression. All caused by external. I feel everyday during this lockdown that I should end it. I feel this year will be my final. I've tested my method, done partial myself and it needs strength. Full suspension or SN but the strength to do it, leave behind those that you'll hurt. I hope you find your answer and way forward. I hope whatever choice will be successful. Lockdown is tough and things have not being kind, let's hope
MsMaudlin
This is the fierce last stand of all I am
- Dec 8, 2019
- 875
Hey,
I'm in the UK too, with PTSD.
This lockdown is so stressful, not helped by the weak assed attitude from the PM.
I think suicide by overdose is really hard to do, it has been in my experience anyway and what I have read on here.
Here for you if you want to message
ā¤
its my 42nd Birthday on the 25th of this month, I really dont want to see that birthday
Im ready just cant seem to do it I just cant wake up another day
Im so ready, my sister told me to do it yesterday as its not fair when I attempt on people who care...
Yeah I agree it is, tried it a few times over the years. I just want peace my life is a complete mess and I cant live in my head a day longer. Im supposed to be going to my friends for sunday lunch Social distancing in the garden but I just want to cbt now, or I go for lunch and do it after. Either way I can not wake up for another day of this. Thanks for your kind words and PTSD sucks! wish you well
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Bct
Disqualified from Being Human
- Apr 20, 2020
- 419
Sorry to hear about your suffering. Must be really frustrating to experience a lot of failed attempts when you don't want to wake up to face another day
ghostgirl1995
Experienced
- Apr 18, 2020
- 237
Sorry to hear this, if I fail again and end up in hospital again Ill get carted off to the nut house and that scares me more than deathSimilar threads
Suicide Discussionwatergun88
