I just cant fucking do it

[Canttakeitanymore]

I tried partial suspension a lot of times already i even got drunk and i just cant fucking do it no matter what, i always chicken out and save my self when im about to pass out, i hate myself so fucking much

 

[GarageKarate07]

I tried partial suspension a lot of times already i even got drunk and i just cant fucking do it no matter what, i always chicken out and save my self when im about to pass out, i hate myself so fucking much

Dont feel bad. I feel the same way and so do many other people. I also have an illness that wont heal so I'm going anyway and still can't do it. Dont feel embarrassed or mad or anything. It takes a lot to end your body and go. Give yourself some time to think and relax. Breathe. Take some breathes. Take some more breathes. Turn off all the electronics and just be still for a minute. Sit outside in the quiet if you can or when you get a chance. Just breathe and think and relax. It wont hurt you. Find your happy spot for a moment. Just hang out in your happy spot. Do not tell yourself bad things about yourself. You are ok. ❤

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

I feel you man, but you don't have to beat yourself up. We are wired to survive with strong SI. Some people are able to do it suddenly out of no where, almost impulsively, while others do it after a long period of meticulous planning and attempts, so it's a really personal experience. Maybe you're not ready yet. Maybe the moment wasn't right. CTB is not a race, not even a marathon, this is something beyond my comprehension. The choice is and always will be there. There shouldn't be judgement on such a powerful and personal thing, not from you and definitely not from anyone else, so rant on here and get your bad feelings out and feel better.

 

[summers]

From what I've seen on ss, partial is one of the least reliable methods. Too slow, too much si. Only good thing about it is most of the time, the only damage done is bruising.

 

[ixkitty]

I tried partial suspension a lot of times already i even got drunk and i just cant fucking do it no matter what, i always chicken out and save my self when im about to pass out, i hate myself so fucking much

I feel you on a personal level. Don't hurt yourself over it. Harder to do but just breathe. Your mind is the worst enemy. The mind is our worst enemy.

 

[muffin222]

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. It's 100% normal to be afraid to end your own life. When/if it's your time to go, you'll be able to take the steps you need to. Please don't hate yourself for this

 

[ClairyFairy]

I tried partial suspension a lot of times already i even got drunk and i just cant fucking do it no matter what, i always chicken out and save my self when im about to pass out, i hate myself so fucking much

This keeps happening to me. With every attempt I fail it's just that more failure. I wish I'd found this place when my intent was stronger. I feel like it's the impossible task

 

[Sensei]

This is probably a sign that you're not ready to leave yet. There's probably still a glimmer of hope in you. I'd recommend you to wait and see.

 

[ClairyFairy]

I don't know I'm having dark thoughts about hurting my neck. I can't get rid of them. I'm so sick of living. Everything is making me triggered

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Do not hate yourself over something that happens naturally to the human mind and body. Nobody can help that. You will know when it's your time. There is a certain moment in time where you realize that you're completely ready for your departure, but if not now, there is no harm in waiting until you are ready. I have always been strongly against impulse and I do tend to be very verbal about it. For now, I hope you are okay and give yourself time... There is no rush or timeline.

All of my love x