Venting I have nobody close to vent to not even myself

[BleederOfZion]

I am a disappointment to everyone and everyone would be happy or at the very least have their boring lives spiced up a bit if I cut my throat in public and bled out all over the sidewalk.
I cant even vent to myself in my own head, I don't know what I feel, its a mess and its like theres a block that sends my thoughts into just "I WANT TO KILL MYSELF AHRHDHIFSKSJJEKSNB" every time my brain finds some words accurately descriptive of my feelings

 

[down for the count]

People's expectations for you are not your problem. You are the most important person in your life and you have to meet your needs first. I am sure you have not done anything bad enough for someone to want or get pleasure out of you dying.

 

[BleederOfZion]

People's expectations for you are not your problem. You are the most important person in your life and you have to meet your needs first. I am sure you have not done anything bad enough for someone to want or get pleasure out of you dying.

It is not the actions that matter, it is the potential, the mindset for such actions that matter, Those make up who I am as a person. I as a person am not just a sum of my achievements in life (whether it be good or bad) but the potential to do so. That potential is also known as my characteristics as a person.