I have begun to make detailed plans

[Tintypographer]

My goals are to disappear:

I want to leave behind all the proper details, documentation and closure for preventing a mess of ownership, fighting over things and a legal headache for stuff and documents. My family has no debt.

I can't be truthful to therapists because my primary goal is to avoid more meds, more therapy and more discussions of suicide.

I believe this decision will be assessed as selfish or cowardly. My thoughts are my own:

1) I do not want to compete anymore. I no longer want to fight capitalism, career goals, objectives to make projects successful and earn teams and organizations more money. I have no desire to be part of this now.

2) I no longer want to take resources and have to be part of dwindling land and supplies.

3) I don't want to interact with others anymore. I have no desire to be part of groups or teams or discuss political opinions or join causes.

4) I don't want to face declining health, loss of function, motor skills, cognitive function or bodily function.

5) I don't want to be accountable to anything anymore. I don't want to answer questions, interact, change, lead, develop, focus or do anything. I just want to stop this and never interact again.

My plans are to find a way to die and I'm not worried about pain. I don't have a survival instinct; I've given up. I don't want to have anything to live for. I'm not hopeless because I don't have anything to live for. I am hopeless because I specifically don't want anything to live for. I no longer want any part of family, friends, society, work, or anything else. I don't care if projects, companies, friends, family or anything else is successful or not. It simply doesn't matter and I don't want it to matter. I don't want hope. I don't want success or lack thereof.

So my plans are to find a way to disappear body and life. Have myself be gone. Perhaps a fruitless search but otherwise be gone. Deepest ocean with a weight. Highest cliff into the stormiest sea. Set off dynamite in an abandoned mine. Make my disappearance be final and total.

This is what I want.

 

[FuneralCry]

Your feelings are understandable. To me life just seems to be endless misery all for the sake of it. I want nothing to do with this life as well. I wish you the best with your plans, I hope that you find what you are looking for.

 

[bowtown]

Your feelings are valid. Your tiredness will come to an end soon and you will find eternal peace

 

[QuietEnd]

So much with what you've said resonates with me to, and situation I find myself in.

You've mentioned you're wanting to your body to disappear. Depending upon your country you might need to check what happens if there's no body as it could prevent anyone declining your death which could make it challenging for the legal stuff.

 

[Smart No More]

I know you mentioned your family have no debts but do you have life insurance? If you're not found they'll be unlikely to pay out. : /

I get your desire to disappear too. Will your family be able to gain closure quickly without finding you and having a death certificate?


What about disappearing and being found? I know you mentioned a failed search attempt but is that a deal breaker? That you could be found after the fact I mean? I was thinking a gps tracker like those used on boats. Long life, can be triggered down the line and details can be sent in a delayed email. I think those things actually alert official's once they go off. They have high accuracy. Might be possible to trigger it once you've passed. I'm just thinking of your loved ones really. I don't know if I could let it go if someone I cared for just vanished. I'd always think they could be alive.

 

[akana]

Facts, resonate w this

 

[adventurer]

i hope that whatever way you choose to leave is the one that will bring you the most comfort. safe travels.