boilingfishcakes
맛있는 오뎅!
- Jun 14, 2026
- 26
From my multiple health conditions, difficulty interacting with others, lack of education, and severe trauma it genuinely feels like the world is rigged against me.
I can't even get or maintain a job due to my lack of education and my health problems causing large gaps in my resume. Epilepsy and Crohns makes me a liability I guess. I speak 3 languages, I don't think I am necessarily incompetent either. It just feels like my life has no purpose except for getting gut punched over and over.
The only reason why my ass isn't on the streets is because my husband's family is wealthy and I have a good allowance to live off of. I feel pathetic for bringing my husband to my home country and I can't even support us anymore. Last job I had ended terribly, I wrote about it in one of my other posts. The money was good but not good enough to put up with constant abuse from my boss on and off the clock. I got terminated for bullshit reasons but my state doesn't exactly care about workers rights.
I've been reliving the same day over and over again. Get up, drink, doomscroll, chat on discord, clean, smoke weed, and play video games. I try to get as intoxicated as possible so I don't deal with 24/7 thoughts of suicide. I'm scared that if I die, my husband won't get his green card and he'll be forced to go back to Korea. I've been doing ketamine therapy but a week after the first session I am already starting to want to kill myself again.
I don't get the point of this shit. Too stupid and uneducated for college. Too sick to work manual labor. Self aware enough to see the pattern but I'm stuck. Forever.
I can't even get or maintain a job due to my lack of education and my health problems causing large gaps in my resume. Epilepsy and Crohns makes me a liability I guess. I speak 3 languages, I don't think I am necessarily incompetent either. It just feels like my life has no purpose except for getting gut punched over and over.
The only reason why my ass isn't on the streets is because my husband's family is wealthy and I have a good allowance to live off of. I feel pathetic for bringing my husband to my home country and I can't even support us anymore. Last job I had ended terribly, I wrote about it in one of my other posts. The money was good but not good enough to put up with constant abuse from my boss on and off the clock. I got terminated for bullshit reasons but my state doesn't exactly care about workers rights.
I've been reliving the same day over and over again. Get up, drink, doomscroll, chat on discord, clean, smoke weed, and play video games. I try to get as intoxicated as possible so I don't deal with 24/7 thoughts of suicide. I'm scared that if I die, my husband won't get his green card and he'll be forced to go back to Korea. I've been doing ketamine therapy but a week after the first session I am already starting to want to kill myself again.
I don't get the point of this shit. Too stupid and uneducated for college. Too sick to work manual labor. Self aware enough to see the pattern but I'm stuck. Forever.
