I hate myself and I want to die

[Kennish]

I hate myself. I hate my body. I hate clothes. It doesn't matter what I buy. It's either to tight or too loose. Or too big or too small. My skin sticks to my skin. When skin is touching skin. I hate myself. I hate that I can't get out of this hell. Bought new jacket today because it's too cold where I am. But I never get satisfied with what I buy.

Returned some boots I got in Christmas gift, to a bigger size. I can't explain it. Nothing fits me. Nothing. I hate my body soooo much. Everyday. I hate my skin. I hate my life. I'm just rambling. The doctors says it OCD but I don't believe them. I truly believe theres something wrong with my body. There's always been.

There's always something about my body that irritated me. My crotch sticks and itches. Ive recently called my old boss to ask for my job back. But if I get it I have to drive like 50-60 km to get to work. And I would need to get new clothes for the work.

I can't anymore. It's so hard for me to wear clothes. It's so hard for me to be in my body. And I hate that I have never meet anybody that has the same as me.

I hate life. I should never have been here in the first place. I have sn and anti-emetics. I have a way out. I want to get N. I don't really want to die. I want to be able to breathe and have a life, but everything is just a struggle for me.

I'm just rambling. Sorry about that. I'm just writing this because I don't know what else to do. Other than hating myself and my "condition".

I'm so depressed. I hate it.

I don't think it will ever get better. I can't see it happening. Never. Fuck life.

"Happy" new year from a troubled soul in Denmark.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I'm just rambling. Sorry about that. I'm just writing this because I don't know what else to do. Other than hating myself and my "condition".

I hear you. Happy new year to you too. People with autism/neurodivergence tend to have sensory related issues including feeling very uncomfortable with certain clothes texture and skin on skin rubbing. Whatever you are going through I would think you are not alone. I have god awful skin condition that is incurable and constantly spreading and flaring up which makes me literally desire to crawl out of my skin. My point is, skin related issues are no joke and can cause immense amount of suffering unimaginable

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds very horrible what you have to go through. It can be awful being trapped in this human body as it is capable of torturing us. I hope you find freedom from your suffering.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

That sounds awful, Kennish, I'm sorry.

 

[Crazy4u]

Kennish,

there is nothing wrong with your body. You are beautiful. Your body is beautiful. I'm pretty sure you are stylish and fashionable. Don't be hard on yourself.

I'm sorry you are feeling that way. Happy New Year to you too my friend

 

[wanttodie]

me to I hate myself. I hate my body I hate life sick of living just want to die

 

[Kennish]

Kennish,

there is nothing wrong with your body. You are beautiful. Your body is beautiful. I'm pretty sure you are stylish and fashionable. Don't be hard on yourself.

I'm sorry you are feeling that way. Happy New Year to you too my friend

Thank you. But I think there is something wrong about my body. I don't know what it is but something is wrong.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Thank you. But I think there is something wrong about my body. I don't know what it is but something is wrong.

If you feel that way it could be very likely the case. I relate