Ghuleh
my head wasn't wired for this world
- Jan 30, 2025
- 4
This year I'm spending my birthday alone, I feel so pathetic, none of my friends remembered it except for my ex, I don't blame them or take it personally as everyone hast things going on on their own life yet I can't help but feel like an idiot, I'm the type of person who stays up waiting for the clock to hit midnight to be the first to congratulate people and write them something meaningful.
I expected to at least have my mother visit but unfortunately she's sick In the hospital, her health matters more than anything. I feel like a selfish asshole for feeling sad about it.
I wanted to have decent day because I'm planning my exit for later this year and it might be my last but oh well.
I feel like I have no right to be this upset, this is such a stupid thing but I cannot change how I feel I want it to end.
The first time I wished to be dead was on my birthday, it became a tradition for me to blow the candles wishing for it to be my last. There's no candles to blow this year but I sure hope it is the last this time.
I expected to at least have my mother visit but unfortunately she's sick In the hospital, her health matters more than anything. I feel like a selfish asshole for feeling sad about it.
I wanted to have decent day because I'm planning my exit for later this year and it might be my last but oh well.
I feel like I have no right to be this upset, this is such a stupid thing but I cannot change how I feel I want it to end.
The first time I wished to be dead was on my birthday, it became a tradition for me to blow the candles wishing for it to be my last. There's no candles to blow this year but I sure hope it is the last this time.
