Discussion I hate how impulsive i am

[Jisatsu]

I've test ingested SN before and it ended badly, why the hell am I thinking about test ingested benzocaine?

I'm having a extremely hard time and all I can think about is drinking it.
I know if I do ill just end up fucking myself up and doing more harm to myself... smh .
This is why planned dates are shit ... the waiting is absolute hell.

 

[nails]

i'm struggling with a similar thing. i also impulsively ingested SN. obviously, it didn't kill me, but i still get horrible, impulsive urges to down it again.
and it's not just sn, i also get intense urges to hang myself (knowing that i'd almost certainly get caught) or od on otc meds, antidepressants, anxiety meds, etc.
wishing you the best, i hope you find some peace.