I had a partner and I blew it. Now he’s gone and I’m still stuck here.

[Lifeless mindset]

I won't name any names out of respect for the member I'm going to be talking about. A while back I was scrolling through the partner's mega thread and was shocked when I saw this specific post. This person lived around 20 minutes away from me and was willing to meet up and go through with plans together. I had SN and everything else needed and he seemed really relieved when I mentioned that I had a method all set up and ready to use. The only problem is that he wanted to go ASAP and I wanted to wait a little longer. I told him that i felt like if I didn't go through with it than I'd feel like I missed out on a great opportunity. He told me that it was okay and that I should take my time and I thanked him. Later on in the week I got a message from him saying that he found a new partner that was out of our state and he gave one last offer to join him if I could pay for my own plan ticket but i declined. About a week later they met up and a day later they CTB. R.i.p. to both of them. I wish I had the guts to join you.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

It's very frightening. I'm not surprised you held off.

 

[LeavingEarly]

I won't name any names out of respect for the member I'm going to be talking about. A while back I was scrolling through the partner's mega thread and was shocked when I saw this specific post. This person lived around 20 minutes away from me and was willing to meet up and go through with plans together. I had SN and everything else needed and he seemed really relieved when I mentioned that I had a method all set up and ready to use. The only problem is that he wanted to go ASAP and I wanted to wait a little longer. I told him that i felt like if I didn't go through with it than I'd feel like I missed out on a great opportunity. He told me that it was okay and that I should take my time and I thanked him. Later on in the week I got a message from him saying that he found a new partner that was out of our state and he gave one last offer to join him if I could pay for my own plan ticket but i declined. About a week later they met up and a day later they CTB. R.i.p. to both of them. I wish I had the guts to join you.

I wish I could overcome survival instinct. I am afraid to die.

 

[Lifeless mindset]

I wish I could overcome survival instinct. I am afraid to die.

Me too

 

[FuneralCry]

Rest in peace. I do feel as though it's difficult to stick to a specific date for ctb, I would personally see it as best to go when it feels right rather than a specific date and time. After all, only the individual knows when it's the right time to leave. I guess that in a life like this, people get desperate to leave and all that they want is to escape from suffering. I do envy those who are gone and it's understandable wishing that you had the courage. Suicide really is so difficult and I wish that it's easier.