I just need to get this out to someone.
I got broken up with again tonight. Most people who know me know that's the reason I was originally here. I've popped in periodically but took a break for a bit once I got into a relationship again. It just ended, partly due to my poor emotional regulation.
Now I'm contemplating CTB again passively (for now at least). I hurt very badly right now, and I'm certainly in no good mental space right now. I keep thinking about how I can't afford to live on my own. My expenses are high, most if not all college students near me have acquired accommodations for the semester. I'm also currently unemployed (I left my job prior to this semester starting), and I thought I would be fine because I had my partner splitting costs with me. It pains me that I might even have to give up my cat, because she's another expense I'm unsure I can afford.
Anyways, tonight, she left me, over text no less. I'm avoiding drinking tonight, which I'm proud of myself for. But now I'm going to probably rot a lot tomorrow, but I still have homework and quizzes to do tomorrow so I can't do that forever.
Sorry if this is all disjointed, I'm just bleeding onto the paper, so to speak. It's so crazy how one of the best things can happen (I get an internship) followed by heartbreak. Anyways, goodnight, I might periodically update this, and use it as a single venting page. I think it will certainly be updated on Valentine's Day.
I got broken up with again tonight. Most people who know me know that's the reason I was originally here. I've popped in periodically but took a break for a bit once I got into a relationship again. It just ended, partly due to my poor emotional regulation.
Now I'm contemplating CTB again passively (for now at least). I hurt very badly right now, and I'm certainly in no good mental space right now. I keep thinking about how I can't afford to live on my own. My expenses are high, most if not all college students near me have acquired accommodations for the semester. I'm also currently unemployed (I left my job prior to this semester starting), and I thought I would be fine because I had my partner splitting costs with me. It pains me that I might even have to give up my cat, because she's another expense I'm unsure I can afford.
Anyways, tonight, she left me, over text no less. I'm avoiding drinking tonight, which I'm proud of myself for. But now I'm going to probably rot a lot tomorrow, but I still have homework and quizzes to do tomorrow so I can't do that forever.
Sorry if this is all disjointed, I'm just bleeding onto the paper, so to speak. It's so crazy how one of the best things can happen (I get an internship) followed by heartbreak. Anyways, goodnight, I might periodically update this, and use it as a single venting page. I think it will certainly be updated on Valentine's Day.
I hope for things to get better for me too. I just feel so lost right now. My mom surprised me and brought me some food for my cat, a stuffed animal, and some chocolates, which was fairly heartwarming and made me feel a little better.
