Venting I fucking ordered my SN

[3FailedAttemptss]

I did it, I actually did it - I ordered my SN. This time i'm really gonna kill myself, the initial reaction of shaking has worn off but I still feel the adrenaline. I've put off buying it for a little over a week now but - idk my closest and best friend messaged me after leaving me on read (for also a bit over a week) when we were talking about me not saying goodbye after my last attempts and like it just sounded like he had to fit talking to me into his schedule and like IM LITERALLY KILLING MYSELF HERE - ahhhh idk just immediately after seeing his response saying he'd be down to talk in a weeks time just sent my body on full autopilot and I ordered the SN very shortly after reading it.

I don't think i'm being very coherent here, but he opened up about how my attempts hurt him after we've been so close and through a lot (he's the first person I ever told i was trans and he's been to all my healthcare appointments), and i just couldn't respond properly or articulate something i was happy with so i just told him a few days after he opened up that I'd be down to chat and talk but i can't respond in text. Then silence up until now where he says he can't chat now or for another week cause some girl is staying over. Idk if i'm a clingy bitch here but that i mean literally sent me over the edge.

 

[Manic Panic]

Where did you buy it from ?

You need to either be on here longer or find out how yourself, they have threads dedicated to helping you find it and everything.

 

[LivingDeadTGirl]

Don't self-yeet over a man ever.