Venting I feel trapped

[TheEndisNear121200]

I've been a long time lurker on this site but I only made an account 2 days ago.
After reading extensively about all the methods that are mentioned here, I realized that the only method I can go with is hanging.
It's just so sad that I feel forced to go with a method I don't like only because I can't get what's needed for other methods.
I've come to accept it though in the last weeks as I have to end my life, and hanging will do the job I guess.
The problem is that I still haven't found where to do it yet, there are metal bars in our garage that can serve as a strong anchor point, but I don't want to do it inside our home.
My brother has suffered enough and is already in bad mental health. I just don't want him to be the one to discover me. I don't want him to be severly traumatized because of me.
My parents can also be the ones to discover me and I can't let that happen.
There are no forests near where I live, there are no bridges if I decide to jump instead.
I feel trapped, I can't keep existing, I have to die but there is no way out. What am I supposed to do ? I didn't ask to be born so why am I subjected to this torture ?

 

[JayBot2005]

What about SN?

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point, and that you feel you need to die in a way that makes you unhappy. Were you thinking of partial or full for hanging?

 

[StateOfMind]

Waow. Sounds like you have a family that actually cares about you.
That would be a big reason not to ctb.
I don't know your circumstances but I guess you have your reasons.
Personally being found is not something I would care about too much.
Death is the biggest counterpart to life.
I don't see why so many people try to hide it.
It shouldn't be taboo.

As an act of protest I have even considered full-suspension with drop at the motorway bridge so people in the cars can see what suffering society can cause.
Probably not very popular but also a bit risky / complicated so not sure if I will do that.

 

[TheEndisNear121200]

What about SN?

It's a controlled substance in my country.

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point, and that you feel you need to die in a way that makes you unhappy. Were you thinking of partial or full for hanging?

Full hanging. It has a higher success rate I guess

Waow. Sounds like you have a family that actually cares about you.
That would be a big reason not to ctb.
I don't know your circumstances but I guess you have your reasons.
Personally this is not something I would care about.

Yeah my family cares a LOT about me. My mom told me last year that if I kill myself, that'll she kill herself too. But this is not enough reason to keep going

 

[WornOutLife]

Hanging is the only option for me too so I understand what you're going through.
I also feel trapped because of family. In my case, I realized I just can't CTB and leave my dad alone. (I tried to kill myself in August)
Still, I believe that people like us will "have enough" some day and CTB anyway.
Gotta get out of this trap called "life" somehow.