I feel like shit

[TheHatedOne]

Woke up again. I keep waking up. I don't want that. Life is just the real nightmare where endless fucked up things can happen to you.

I woke up into a nightmare where everyone hates me, I hate myself too, where I'm scared and I don't know what to do. No guidance, no light, no compassion, the final exit being the only one which brings me comfort, but thinking that it could have a chance of failure...

The most unique misfortune is seeing the light of the day, and realizing that you're conscious. That you exist. A state of horrors. I'm not going to die, I'm just going to run away from the tragedy of being born.

In the end, I will leave a quote from the wise Cioran:

"If death is as horrible as is claimed, how is it that after the passage of a certain period of time we consider happy any being, friend or enemy, who has ceased to live?" (The Trouble with Being Born)

Edit: This quote made me think, when someone dies people tend to say: "They're at peace now!", " They're happy!" , "They're in a better place!" which is like idiotic because they indirectly admit how death is better than having to live. In a society that preaches "happiness" and you see this word at every corner, I find it outrageous how they don't let us pursue a happy path , the death path. But, as usual, it's not about actual happiness, that's just a pretext.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is completely unnecessary, it is just a pointless experience that we go through for the sake of it. More than anything I wish I was never born. I was perfectly fine not existing until I was forced to live. Humans are brought into this world just to suffer. You are right that life is a nightmare. It sounds so peaceful to fall into an eternal, dreamless sleep and never have to experience anything ever again.

 

[Sanva]

I feel the same way. Like I'm stuck in a nightmare.
I think they know that death is a peaceful option for some of us, they only hold on to us because it's gonna hurt people around us. I just don't see why I have to suffer for my whole life to avoid some people having to grieve for some period of time and then moving on with their lives.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Edit: This quote made me think, when someone dies people tend to say: "They're at peace now!", " They're happy!" , "They're in a better place!" which is like idiotic because they indirectly admit how death is better than having to live. In a society that preaches "happiness" and you see this word at every corner, I find it outrageous how they don't let us pursue a happy path , the death path. But, as usual, it's not about actual happiness, that's just a pretext.

Omg this is so f true. What a bunch of hypocrites we are.
People always grief their loss of loved one, not that things for dead person got worse. But again, process of dying is not pleasant one. Though people would endure much more pain just in order to live.

 

[TheHatedOne]

they only hold on to us because it's gonna hurt people around us.

When they go on about this, it gets on my nerves. Don't they realize that some people DON'T HAVE ANYONE in their lives? Not even a family. Some people are genuinely alone and don't depend on someone as well as no one depends on them.

Then there are persons who have others in their lives who might have abused or hurt the person. This is the reason why I don't acknowledge my "family" anymore. I don't have a family. I don't care what they do after I die.

And then, it is as you said, why keep suffering for some people who will grieve like one week and then move on as if you never existed in the first place.

 

[deleted]

I agree with all this, I don't see any problem, but I still wonder why I'm here, I'm starting to think I don't have the courage to kill myself