Venting i feel like a retarded lonely loser

[1br4h1m]

i thought i was in a friend group but apparently i was just a retard and everyone else didn't want me there.
i've been super isolated for the last couple years until a few months ago when i stated hanging out with a friend group. but the years of isolation turned me into a retarded weirdo and they eventually got tired of me. i'm super quiet and awkward around others. i hate myself so much. i hate myself more than anyone.
i bought some box cutter blades today

 

[LastNite]

Im sorry you feel that way. Please dont act compulsively. Cutting might seem like the solution but it'll only hurt you more.

 

[sanctionedusage]

you may be retarded but theyre fucking pussies. people are always so scared to be upfront about these things instead of leading a person on like some humiliation ritual.

 

[Mooncry]

you may be retarded but theyre fucking pussies. people are always so scared to be upfront about these things instead of leading a person on like some humiliation ritual.

Real. So much of my social anxiety stems from this fact because this is so frustratingly common. The amount of times I've thought people thought a certain way about me based on how they acted around me, then I come to find out they're talking completely differently about me to other people.

And I understand that everyone gossips. Everyone says shit about everyone when that person isn't in the room, even I do it. But it so often goes beyond that where you're just treating people like a circus show or something, like the group weirdo who everyone collectively agrees to point and laugh at. Or they just tolerate and pretend to like you for whatever reason. I'm hella ranting right now but yeah lol.

 

[violetforever]

the years of isolation turned me into a retarded weirdo and they eventually got tired of me. i'm super quiet and awkward around others.

i think im fucked beyond ever having normal human interaction or friends again for being isolated and awkward too. ive learned that my place is away from others. i cant ever seem to keep up with what people want or expect of me. i know it probably doesnt mean much but youll find that the majority of people on here wont treat you like that <|3

 

[StupidCat]

Same