Venting I feel i'm stuck

[ImALiability]

Hi guys
I'm new here and i just want to vent a little bit cause lately i'm not doing well.
I feel hopeless, useless and awkard. I'm 26 and i don't have a job. I can't access to a professional to diagnose me correctly (if i have depression or some mental disease) because i don't have the money.
I never talked to a friend about my idea of CTB, i don't feel comfortable and i'm sure they gonna give me a crappy speech about "how wonderful life is", "it always gets better", etc.
I recently lost my grandma and i miss her so much it hurts. I don't know how to talk with my family about my issues, especially to my mom (she thinks suicide is selfish). Also I'm a lesbian and they don't know about it cause, you know, they think homosexuality it's "gross".
Well, i think that's it. I've been on this forum for 5 days now and i like the sentiment of community and empathy that spreads around. It's good to have a place where we can talk with total freedom about this.
I'm sorry if i misspelled some words, english it's not my native tongue.
Thanks for reading!

 

[gnomeboy17]

Hi guys
I'm new here and i just want to vent a little bit cause lately i'm not doing well.
I feel hopeless, useless and awkard. I'm 26 and i don't have a job. I can't access to a professional to diagnose me correctly (if i have depression or some mental disease) because i don't have the money.
I never talked to a friend about my idea of CTB, i don't feel comfortable and i'm sure they gonna give me a crappy speech about "how wonderful life is", "it always gets better", etc.
I recently lost my grandma and i miss her so much it hurts. I don't know how to talk with my family about my issues, especially to my mom (she thinks suicide is selfish). Also I'm a lesbian and they don't know about it cause, you know, they think homosexuality it's "gross".
Well, i think that's it. I've been on this forum for 5 days now and i like the sentiment of community and empathy that spreads around. It's good to have a place where we can talk with total freedom about this.
I'm sorry if i misspelled some words, english it's not my native tongue.
Thanks for reading!

I feel you on pretty much all of this!! I'm sorry you're having a tough time at the moment and I hope you're able to access some form of counciling in the near future. I also agree that talking to a friend is pointless, they'd just over worry whilst not being able to give advice and understand. The great thing about SS is no matter how weird you feel there's always others like that!! Best wishes x