I fear that I can't even ctb

[deadpixels]

All methods involve some sort of planing or action, maybe buying something, maybe going somewhere, maybe preparing something, and in order to properly ctb I need to do some research, to avoid mistakes, to avoid permanent damage... all my previous attempts (obviously) failed because I couldn't put much effort.

I can barely move, my body feels heavy, my mind is heavy, I can't even read for too long, I can't concentrate on anything, my mind gets heavier, the words lose meaning... if I try do do something else, I don't have anything to do, nowhere to go.

It has been like this for as far as i can remember, I'm stuck.
I couldn't do anything in all my life.
I have no past
I will never be able to do anything
I have no future
I do nothing and the day is gone
I have no present

It's like I'm in the world of I have no mouth and I must scream, I'm doomed, every day is a torture and I can't even ctb from here.

 

[crybaby]

oh no ;3 same here