i dont want to participate

[finish.me]

im trying to recover and i've been having moments where i see it all laid out and i'm like yeah this actually sounds like a good idea, if i can put myself through a little schooling and work i can get where i want to be. but then i have moments like this where im exhausted. i dont care. i dont want to be anything. i had depression and suicidal urges since i was like 8 years old so all of my habits are so deeprooted that i will literally never escape from it. im too tired for anything i think what i want to do is just lay in a bed and play skyrim and slowly starve to death

 

[Bigredtxs907]

If you change Skyrim for league of legends I would Join you. But I'm not sure if it would actually work for myself. I smoke too much weed and would find myself eating lol

 

[Shadowplay]

Yeah I hear you. I just wanna not have to go through the motions to keep other people happy. I never asked for this life and I never wanted it.

 

[Bigredtxs907]

Yeah I hear you. I just wanna not have to go through the motions to keep other people happy. I never asked for this life and I never wanted it.

Right. But I still find my self trying to make other people happy it's uncontrollable:( it's like we are programmed in a way

 

[Shadowplay]

Right. But I still find my self trying to make other people happy it's uncontrollable:( it's like we are programmed in a way

Well we are social animals to begin with. But perhaps you're a people pleaser?

 

[summers]

im trying to recover and i've been having moments where i see it all laid out and i'm like yeah this actually sounds like a good idea, if i can put myself through a little schooling and work i can get where i want to be. but then i have moments like this where im exhausted. i dont care. i dont want to be anything. i had depression and suicidal urges since i was like 8 years old so all of my habits are so deeprooted that i will literally never escape from it. im too tired for anything i think what i want to do is just lay in a bed and play skyrim and slowly starve to death

You would be placed in a hospital or psychiatric facility LONG before your starved to death. It's up to you to decide if you want to live or die, and we all respect that decision. But if you choose the latter, do research and find a real method that works for you. Just getting yourself sick and weak is not a solution - it will only burden you with many more problems.

 

[Bigredtxs907]

Well we are social animals to begin with. But perhaps you're a people pleaser?

Yes, well I try. I haven't done anything in this life I have wanted todo. I have done it to please other people.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand. Life is very tiring. I want absolutely nothing to do with life, living does not appeal to me in any way. The only thing I want is non existence, to be free from it all. It is hard to carry on when you are exhausted. As humans there is only so much we can take anyway. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[whywere]

I totally agree with where you are at, BUT..BUT, life always seems to throw a lot of curve balls and sometimes out of the blue will come a moment in time where something arises that can help.

I, like everyone, has had so many ups, downs, arounds..etc.., that it makes my head spin, but then aha! Like when I was in a nasty car crash, car crash not my fault, and it gave me 24/7 chronic pain and I will lose the control on the right side of my body, then guess what? SS came along and I found souls who have life's issues also and BANG! I found a family to share good and not so good aspects of life about.

Oh ya, life is not either a bowl of cherries nor a bowl of pits, but something in between and that is where a site like SS and all the fantastic folks here come into play and help one another.

I send you lots of hugs, warm wishes and the knowledge that YOU are a very important part of me here, like family!

Walter