Venting I don’t want to die but I don’t think I was meant to live

[lunax]

I'm giving all I can and it's not enough. Everyone wants more from me and I can't give it to them. I'm under so much pressure. If I mess something up now I mess up my whole life anyway. I don't want to die, I want to live, but I don't think I was made for this world. In the future I probably won't want to live anymore anyway. It's been like that in the past. Maybe I should just get it over with.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. I can imagine it must be unbearable being under so much pressure. I know that it can be hard to carry on when you cannot take anymore of this life. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[soinvisible]

Oh lunax... I hear you so well. I feel so similarly. I often also feel like I was not made to live in this world. And the pressure and having people and things depending on you and your continuing to fight. Its so hard, just makes one want to curl up. One day at work when nobody was around I actually crawled under my desk just to see if sitting there would feel better and it actually did.... unfortunately I couldn't stay there.
I have no words of wisdom for you. I'm just so sorry you're feeling all this pressure. The only thing I will say is you said you don't want to die, you want to live. I think that's something to listen to, what your inner still voice says, underneath the maelstrom of pressure.