I Don't Want to be Happy

[!WILL!]

I think one of the reasons why I never open up about suicidal in real life is because people can't understand the concept of me wanting to be rather dead than happy. I just don't enjoy being alive, it's irrelevant to me whether or not I'm happy. I have plenty of friends that I know care about me and a somewhat promising future, and despite all the things happening in the world I'm still optimistic things can and will still change for the better. Despite all this I still want to kill myself. The problem is not that I'm incapable of feeling happiness, it's that it doesn't matter and no matter how happy I feel I will always be suicidal. Even if I had everything I wanted I would still kill myself if given the chance.

 

[motel rooms]

despite all the things happening in the world I'm still optimistic things can and will still change for the better.

Why?

 

[FuneralCry]

People who have never been suicidal themselves will not be able to comprehend what it is like, it is why I never tell anyone. I think even if I had everything I wanted I would still be suicidal, I have never enjoyed living. I would just prefer to not exist no matter what. Its simply the way I am.

 

[NoPointToContinue]

I wanted to be happy at once but now I would rather be dead than happy. The thought of wanting happiness almost makes me vomit now. Licking life's dirty ass so we can get little pieces of happiness within immense suffering. Fuck that, I am not a beggar. Take your happiness and shove it up to your ass Life(or god, whatever). I just want to end this bullshit.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I wanted to be happy at once but now I would rather be dead than happy. The thought of wanting happiness almost makes me vomit now. Licking life's dirty ass so we can get little pieces of happiness within immense suffering. Fuck that, I am not a beggar. Take your happiness and shove it up to your ass Life(or god, whatever). I just want to end this bullshit.

I totally resonate with that. We toil and debase ourselves for what's basically a carrot on a stick. Happiness should come naturally, and be the default state for us, yet it isn't. What idiot set it all up this way?

 

[Snake of Eden]

I totally resonate with that. We toil and debase ourselves for what's basically a carrot on a stick. Happiness should come naturally, and be the default state for us, yet it isn't. What idiot set it all up this way?

I totally resonate with what you said. We are expected to be content with a life that has few fleeting happy moments amongst much strife and struggle with everything that is not making us happy. Happiness is absolutely supposed to be our baseline state and I would never accept anything less. Thats not to say we shouldnt work hard to be productive and beneficial to society and the planet but whatever current rigged game we are forced to participate in, is faulty at large and we should try our best to complain and point out its flaws and how it is contributing to our misery

 

[motel rooms]

I totally resonate with that. We toil and debase ourselves for what's basically a carrot on a stick. Happiness should come naturally, and be the default state for us, yet it isn't. What idiot set it all up this way?

"EVOLUTION IS AN IDIOT". Gonna put that on my t-shirt. It's funny cuz it's true