Venting I don't want to be a victim

[sopwithcamel]

I don't want to be a victim of my circumstances and ultimately die from suicide because of what I had to go through. That would be my biggest fear and that's the main reason I'm still here despite my life being terrible for the most part. I still latch onto hope so I can keep going but a part of me knows nothing will change next year or the year after it. My life's been miserable for far too long for it to change for the better all of a sudden.
I'll wake up in the same room, in the same house, at the same neighborhood, attend the same school, go to the same gym, see the same people, play the same video games, draw the same things, waste time on the Internet again as I did before, and so on for the next couple of years. While some people I know will go on to travel extensively, have fun memories, make even more friends, have more opportunities, and so on. I think I'm jealous but good for them.

I feel like I was meant to be a statistic. I have no social life, I have never been loved, never went outside my hometown and its vicinity... I just have nothing going for myself. At least I can draw but that's about the only useful thing about me. I see no way out of this prison I'm in, except suicide... but like I said, I don't want to be a victim...

 

[WadeingThru]

At least I can draw but that's about the only useful thing about me.

Can you share some of you drawings?

 

[sopwithcamel]

Can you share some of you drawings?

Here's a quick sketch I just made specifically for this post (I'm afraid someone might know who I am from my usual art style). Hope you like it (don't know why it's so blurry on the image preview)

 

[WadeingThru]

Here's a quick sketch I just made specifically for this post (I'm afraid someone might know who I am from my usual art style). Hope you like it (don't know why it's so blurry on the image preview)

That looks just like me!

Just kidding.

It's really good. You have real talent.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering so much. I know that it can be dreadful when everything is hopeless. I understand that it is awful knowing that only misery lies ahead. I wish you the best in whatever happens.