I don’t think I’ll ever be ok

[DeadD]

I have adhd and a whole slew of other mental health issues. It feels like it's entirely up to me to know what to do. Since I don't know what to do, there's no help for me.

I have panic attacks and my girlfriend gets frustrated with me because of them. She says she doesn't but it's clear in her tone and body language (sighing, irritated tone, slapping her thighs in frustration, brushing my concerns off) and it sends me into a spiral. But since I'm the one freaking out, why should Iexpect her to stay calm.


I want it all to stop. I want everything to stop. I don't want to do this anymore. Idk how to help myself and I am drowning

 

[Darksektori]

I have adhd and a whole slew of other mental health issues. It feels like it's entirely up to me to know what to do. Since I don't know what to do, there's no help for me.

I have panic attacks and my girlfriend gets frustrated with me because of them. She says she doesn't but it's clear in her tone and body language (sighing, irritated tone, slapping her thighs in frustration, brushing my concerns off) and it sends me into a spiral. But since I'm the one freaking out, why should Iexpect her to stay calm.


I want it all to stop. I want everything to stop. I don't want to do this anymore. Idk how to help myself and I am drowning

If you feel like you want help, then try getting some, your fate is in your keeping, it's a rare thing in my opinion, most help available isn't real help. But it sounds to me like you still have some fight in you, or are still undecided on what to do. Unfortunately I personally can't point you in a direction because you must make that decision on your own. Whatever you choose I will respect

 

[DeadD]

I got help for 10 years where they diagnosed me in minutes, shoved me in group therapy that only taught bullshit philosophy. I've been on medications since I was little. I've changed my diet, became athletic, took walks, I did everything that was suggested to me and none of it worked. Since that seems to be the extent of help I can get, then it's up to me. I am so tired. I want to die so bad but I don't want to traumatize my family. Even if I started trying to get help now, I can't afford it.

 

[Darksektori]

I got help for 10 years where they diagnosed me in minutes, shoved me in group therapy that only taught bullshit philosophy. I've been on medications since I was little. I've changed my diet, became athletic, took walks, I did everything that was suggested to me and none of it worked. Since that seems to be the extent of help I can get, then it's up to me. I am so tired. I want to die so bad but I don't want to traumatize my family. Even if I started trying to get help now, I can't afford it.

The Medications for me were a joke, just made things worse, for some people it apparently works, like some people play the lottery, ironically I think you have a better chance of winning that, then finding real help in this world.

 

[Epsilon0]

I have never experienced panic attacks from the outside, as I was always the one having them. So it's hard for me to understand why anyone would get frustrated with you for suffering like that. It's not like you do it on purpose - you are a victim of ill health.

A panic attack is a very serious and extremely painful experience, it's so much more than just "freaking out". Your girlfriend does not seem to grasp the severity of of what you are going through.

I feel a lot of compassion for you!