I don’t know whether this is depression please help

[egyptBp]

I am literally begging for answers but what i will ask about may seem weird but I don't have anywhere to go and i really need help 3 months ago my life was pretty normal until i had a manic episode and got diagnosed with bipolar disorder after 2 months of getting the diagnosis some weird ideas started to sneak in my mind ideas that i am mentally lacking that I can't become independent because i am too stupid to do so that i am too stupid to continue medical school because i will fail every coming exam and that I can't become a doctor so why would i even try and study it is a really weird situation whenever i see anyone those automatic thoughts start to pop into my mind that i am not like them i am not gonna have a life like them and i start comparing myself to every human being and every time i am worse and stupid i became too anxious to go to college because i started to feel that i am different than my colleagues and that i will never have a life like them and i will live to watch their success and get tortured that i will be forgotten and starve to live a low quality life all of these thoughts come automatically to me i isolated myself for 2 months now and i can't go back to society is that possible that someone can be too stupid to work or have a job can depression bring such distortions and obsessions or it is not depression i always had low self esteem about intelligence but can depression trigger this weak point should i seek treatment for depression or this is not depression i don't really know
does anyone have a similar experience of being obsessed with a single thought that takes over ur life and u just can't do anything because whatever u do is pointless

 

[keitaro]

that sounds really difficult to go through. i have depression and self-esteem issues, myself, and i certainly think that everything is pointless. if you are wanting to continue on in life, there is a recovery forum on here as well. best wishes~