Venting I don't know how to survive today

[shroomia]

Today is one of the hardest days so far. I genuinely don't know how to survive this. All this pain is just too much and I don't know what to do. All I yearn for is some peace and an escape. I wish I could just do drugs to numb everything but I'm stuck in this fucking clinic and nothing they give me helps. I can't stop thinking about if I just kill myself all this will stop. I suffered for so long and I don't know if I can take this any longer. All I want is to stop feeling like this and be happy. I don't know what I did to deserve any of this. I just don't want to be in pain anymore. Living hurts so much and I don't know how to keep going. Worst is I will just hurt my loved ones when I decide to leave but I genuinely don't know what to do anymore. I just want this to stop finally

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand finding it painful to exist, it's just so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing but anyway I wish you the best, I hope that you find the relief you search for.

 

[shroomia]

The senior doctor is seeing me in a bit I hope they can just give me something to sedate me I can't take it anymore
I got some benzos now
Hope they help
I just need to get through today
My girlfriend is writing her finals atm so I just gotta survive

 

[Griever]