Help I don't know how to find a way

[urgent]

I don't think anyone can come up with a way for me to ctb when I'm not always alone. I was going through SN protocols, thinking I can order, hopefully get it and I realized there is no way for me to do it. Even though I don't want to eat I have to. I have asked to do VSED I'm in to much pain. They disagreed and eat with me to make sure. No I can't say I'm not hungry or anything, I've tried. So I can't go anywhere or drive. I can't order helium.I don't know if anyone here is physically sick and unable to lift or move much. I'm really limited to taking something at night that will work before morning where I'm not going to be saved when I don't wake up. I'm 100% sure I need to do because it's really torture. When I found this site I thought I will find someway to end the suffering fast. As it gets later in another day of pain I feel so frantic to think another sleepless night and wake to 18 hours of more agony before trying to sleep This isn't a life. It has to be stopped somehow. Please if you have any ideas. I can't jump, I'd need someone to get me there, can't walk in front of train, can't hang, or cut. I don't know if any vet would help, I can't just call them and ask. How do you get it from a vet for those who have? When I see news of hitman suspected in the news I'm always like how did she find him and not an uncovere cop? Before my health got so debilitating and painful if I had to do something difficult i I always thought there must be a way and a lot of time I found it. But it was usually to help someone else. Never expected to not be able to do anything when I'm still breathing.it sucks for all of us in pain.

 

[idontknowwhatiam]

Can you access a firearm?

 

[urgent]

Can you access a firearm?

No, if I could I probably can't pull the trigger anymore. And I'd need a silencer police would literally be at my door in 5 minutes or less

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just such terrible extreme cruelty to me how the option of painless, guaranteed death is denied, I always suffer so unbearably from how there isn't a way to just find true permanent peace from this dreadful, torturous existence, I hope you find the freedom you search for, it's just so horrible to me how there's all this extreme torture and suffering in existing.

 

[urgent]

It's just such terrible extreme cruelty to me how the option of painless, guaranteed death is denied, I always suffer so unbearably from how there isn't a way to just find true permanent peace from this dreadful, torturous existence, I hope you find the freedom you search for, it's just so horrible to me how there's all this extreme torture and suffering in existing.

I absolutely agree with you. No one understands I'm in excruciating unbearable pain and I don't deserve to suffer so severely. Nothing helps it.I have to suffer brutally. It's inhumane. I'm no longer able to physically do most methods. Others in my opinion are selfish to want me to stay here when I can't have a second without pain. Everyday I think it can't get more painful then this and it does! I'm losing all my abilities and dignity. I can't even be given the mercy of a dog. Why do I have to bear such pain when we don't let our pets suffer? There is no reason! Prepare yourself while you are able. There may not be anyone willing to help you when you're not.