I dont believe in anything anymore

[Snake of Eden]

I am at the ripe age of 36 and I feel that I lost my faith in any goodness or justice in this life. I am so ready to go but my SI and fear of hurting my parents are shackling me in this miserable existence. I wont hope or pray for it to get better anymore because it is pointless. All I wish from myself is enough clarity and courage to go along and end it all. I always believed only certain types of people can ctb and I am worried I am not part of that special group of people who can look beyond their SI and can achieve the end of all.

 

[noname223]

I lost hope in justice years ago. Life is so unfair and cruel. My abusers have happy and fulfilling lives and my life is complete shit.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is painful, and I see everything as hopeless. The SI is what holds me back too, as humans we are programmed to survive and it can mean taking our lives is hard. Death is inevitable and at least it will come someday, but the fact that I could potentially have decades left is an unpleasant thought.

 

[Hurt]

I feel hopelessand everyday costs me more and more. It's tiring.

 

[PaxAmerica]

Right now I want to die. I have just tried to strangle myself with a jumper sleeve and went further than before. Think I came close to passing out. If there is a God and I have deserved this I plead for his forgiveness and help now. As I can't see myself enduring this much more. Its too hard

 

[All Things Must Pass]

I always believed only certain types of people can ctb and I am worried I am not part of that special group of people who can look beyond their SI and can achieve the end of all.

Don't be so pessimistic.

 

[noname223]

I always believed only certain types of people can ctb and I am worried I am not part of that special group of people who can look beyond their SI and can achieve the end of all.

Tbh I doubt that. However I think some are more prone to suicide and suicidal thoughts. But if there is enough desperation and pain many people would ctb. I even don't think only brave people can ctb. If the desperation is very extreme and the pain also extreme almost everyone would ctb. That's only my theory. There was this Youtuber Adam Maier Clayton who had very extreme pain 24/7 and there was no cure.
He tried almost all possible therapy and nothing helped. I think in his shoes 95% would ctb.

 

[hʚll]

there's no justice in this life. there's no justice in death either. nothing will make up for the suffering because there was no good enough reason for us all to be here, feel pain and go through all this.

i too, like you, hope i can finally cut ties with life forever.

peace!

 

[Snake of Eden]

Don't be so pessimistic.

It goes to show how bad I see it. I hope I am wrong for better or worse

 

[PaxAmerica]

Its too much for me

 

[cactus]

I am at the ripe age of 36 and I feel that I lost my faith in any goodness or justice in this life. I am so ready to go but my SI and fear of hurting my parents are shackling me in this miserable existence. I wont hope or pray for it to get better anymore because it is pointless. All I wish from myself is enough clarity and courage to go along and end it all. I always believed only certain types of people can ctb and I am worried I am not part of that special group of people who can look beyond their SI and can achieve the end of all.

I can't help but be excited. I'm 52 male who has given up hope in society. I have to schedule a biopsy on a mouth sore. The dr said I am hi risk for cancer. If it is cancer maybe that can help me decide on timing.

 

[LenkaX]

I lost any hope in some form of "higher justice" a long time ago. Everything is pointless.