Venting I could shoot myself right now but I'm too chickenshit

[dragonofenvy]

The most painless method possible. A shotgun. I have a slug round. I could just end end it but I don't because I'm such a pussy that I can't do the one thing that will rid me of this pain. Why? There's nothing in my life and yet I keep clinging to it. Why? I've been here for almost 3 fucking years and know how much people would envy my position and take the opportunity while it's presented itself but I can't. I want to kill the part of me that's keeping me alive I'm so fucking tired of this.

I keep a log that I send electronically to my psychologist. I gave up and essentially begged her to help me die. I wonder how that conversation will go when she sees it. I swear if I get sent to the hospital and get fucked over financially because of it.

 

[iamsotired25]

It's because it's not painless

 

[m3nhera]

The most painless method possible. A shotgun. I have a slug round. I could just end end it but I don't because I'm such a pussy that I can't do the one thing that will rid me of this pain. Why? There's nothing in my life and yet I keep clinging to it. Why? I've been here for almost 3 fucking years and know how much people would envy my position and take the opportunity while it's presented itself but I can't. I want to kill the part of me that's keeping me alive I'm so fucking tired of this.

I keep a log that I send electronically to my psychologist. I gave up and essentially begged her to help me die. I wonder how that conversation will go when she sees it. I swear if I get sent to the hospital and get fucked over financially because of it.

Shotgun isn't painless. I know because as someone who is also a coward(and can't get one due to state law) if you look up how it feels to get shot from people who survived, it's extremely painful.