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NothingElseMatters

NothingElseMatters

Warlock
Mar 30, 2020
745
as I said before, I can't even fucking kill myself, I've tried and just panicked, suicide is not for me, but still I don't want to endure this life anymore. maybe my fate is to live a sad life till the day God decides to let me out.
 
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M

Miss_Takes

Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Dec 4, 2020
452
I feel for you on this day when we are, so many, struggling with the same feelings. We are never alone in our loneliness ... sadly.

Last year I started crying and thought it would never stop ... it has eased but not stopped and I have adapted to what is manageable tearfulness and stuff the rest down lol ... mostly because the act of crying is so exhausting in itself and eventually sleep wins for me but also because I can still laugh ... still smile ... still be, here, in this world.

I hope solace finds you if only for relief from the constancy of sadness for a brief time.
 
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Reactions: AtMostOkay, puppet_nihilist and Midgardsorm
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
48,642
I'm sorry you are suffering so much, living really is painful. It is hard to take our lives, for me it is because of the SI, us humans are programmed to live and the fact that I could fail a method. I understand it is like being trapped where you do not want to live but feel as though you cannot leave this world. I would love just to fall into an eternal sleep and be free from this existence. I do not want to live for many more decades longer.
 
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A_miStake_of_NATURE

A_miStake_of_NATURE

I wish no one had to CTB..........
Aug 14, 2020
703
Maybe you're not exactly ready? I mean, maybe there will come a day, when you're able to kill yourself, to overcome your SI? Nevertheless, I'm really sorry you're in so much pain. I know want if feels like to feel trapped. I hope things will change for you for better, one way or another.
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
 
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The Lonely

The Lonely

Arcanist
Jan 26, 2021
406
Be nice to yourself for a couple of days…

Think about nice things and relax a little…

Sunday Afternoon Love GIF
 
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Reactions: GreenMile, LittleBlackCat, mentalhealthfighter and 1 other person
E

eduardo

Born a Loser
Aug 17, 2021
44
it is clear that you have a heavy depression. I hope , you can achieve your peace and gladness again.
 
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S

Stuckaf2

Stuck
Aug 17, 2021
44
as I said before, I can't even fucking kill myself, I've tried and just panicked, suicide is not for me, but still I don't want to endure this life anymore. maybe my fate is to live a sad life till the day God decides to let me out.
I feel this way often... like even when I am "happy" I always fucking wish I could just die and disappear
 
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Reactions: mossyfox, souljah222 and Maaizr
D

deletednumber

Enlightened
Apr 29, 2021
1,603
I have the same feelings as you, I feel desperately trapped:(
 
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MBY85

Member
Oct 21, 2020
52
I am trapped too. I am very disabled and can't ctb for myself and nobody would help me to do it. I am always sad and hate life but I can't have the option to go away. So I understand how desesperate it is to stay here in life being unhappy
 
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Reactions: Per Ardua Ad Astra, deletednumber, Maaizr and 2 others
Maaizr

Maaizr

LIGHTSTEALER
Aug 2, 2021
150
I am trapped too. I am very disabled and can't ctb for myself and nobody would help me to do it. I am always sad and hate life but I can't have the option to go away. So I understand how desesperate it is to stay here in life being unhappy
goddamn this hurts im really sorry i hope you can find peace or things change for the better, friend
 
Cid9121

Cid9121

Til death..
Jul 19, 2021
18
I understand completely. I feel I'm trying so hard & yet each day brings a new struggle, it never seems to get easier.
 
Fakereality

Fakereality

Student
Aug 4, 2021
130
There are many prisoner's in this world you are not alone many among us victim's of this world cruelness being forced into existence in this wretched rigged game no merciful god or a force of nature will ever create a world like this it's a curse not a blessing there's no beauty in this depressing hell they called life only suffering and sadness.
 
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M

mossyfox

Student
Aug 4, 2021
129
I feel this way often... like even when I am "happy" I always fucking wish I could just die and disappear
relate so hard. life's a bitch and a half. why the fuck are we here. some of us really don't need to be, and people make that really fucking clear.

if only life made sense and people who wanted to live and were useful in this world were spared tragic deaths and instead those deaths came our way naturally, and we don't have to do it ourselves.
 
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V

victoria91

Student
Jan 15, 2019
114
Sorry your feeling that way. I am the same. Feel trapped. Too frightened to CTB and feel guilty anyway as I have children.

Pretend to feel happy everyday , no one has any idea how much I hate life .
 
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Reactions: GreenMile and mossyfox
NormaJeane

NormaJeane

Member
Mar 24, 2021
648
as I said before, I can't even fucking kill myself, I've tried and just panicked, suicide is not for me, but still I don't want to endure this life anymore. maybe my fate is to live a sad life till the day God decides to let me out.
It is the survival instinct that is keeping us alive, otherwise we would all be dead.
 
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enau

enau

Student
Apr 15, 2021
142
im sorry, hope you will find something that confortimg you, for now even in this unhappiness
 
Tav

Tav

Member
Apr 20, 2018
40
I am trapped too. I am very disabled and can't ctb for myself and nobody would help me to do it. I am always sad and hate life but I can't have the option to go away. So I understand how desesperate it is to stay here in life being unhappy
that sounds terrible,,,...there is this concept device which allows a peaceful death with nitrogen with voice or eye movement control https://www.exitinternational.net/sarco/
 

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