I didn't know what intrusive thoughts actually were until about 4/5 years ago? On reflection I actually believe I've been struggling with them since I was a child. I'd spend a lot of time visualising and thinking about dreadful things that could happen to me and others against my will and it made me so anxious. The only way I can describe intrusive thoughts are by comparing them to constant pop up ads on the internet. You're bombarded with annoying ads that you don't want to see. My brain is like that with graphic thoughts and images. They're things I don't want to see or think about and they don't align with who I am. As I've got older they've got a lot worse and they're really impacting my life now. It's like a constant feeling of impending doom.
I don't feel comfortable going into too much detail about them because intrusive thoughts are very misunderstood and I don't want to be judged. But a lot of them surround death or harm coming to myself and people I care about. There are others I have that don't surround death at all but they can be just as draining. It's like my brain is constantly thinking of the worst thing that could happen in any scenario. Things that are so unlikely it's not even worth worrying about but my brain finds a way to ruminate on it
Because I've dealt with these thoughts for so long now I'd become somewhat desensitised to a lot of the repetitive ones. But lately new thoughts have been coming up and they're really stressing me out. I'm starting to believe that I'm a dreadful person for thinking about things I don't want to think about and it's making my suicidal ideation stronger. Does anybody else deal with intrusive thoughts and if so how do you manage them?
I don't feel comfortable going into too much detail about them because intrusive thoughts are very misunderstood and I don't want to be judged. But a lot of them surround death or harm coming to myself and people I care about. There are others I have that don't surround death at all but they can be just as draining. It's like my brain is constantly thinking of the worst thing that could happen in any scenario. Things that are so unlikely it's not even worth worrying about but my brain finds a way to ruminate on it
Because I've dealt with these thoughts for so long now I'd become somewhat desensitised to a lot of the repetitive ones. But lately new thoughts have been coming up and they're really stressing me out. I'm starting to believe that I'm a dreadful person for thinking about things I don't want to think about and it's making my suicidal ideation stronger. Does anybody else deal with intrusive thoughts and if so how do you manage them?
