I am stuck

[DoesRoeGo?]

Right now my life has no meaning. I am 18 and am just about to finish high school, but what am i supposed to do next? I can't see myself doing anything else than being a burden on my partner or family. I don't do anything benificial, i just sit around and my family is expected to just pay for me?! In every sense, ever since i was a kid i was needlessly spoiled. So much stuff I dont deserve. But I have my partner who inexplicably loves me to no end, and two cats i dont want to miss in the after life if there is one. ( i would miss my partner too I love him so fucking much lol) But what the fuck am I here for. I can't do anything. Already attempted and it just made everyone want to buy me shit more. I feel like a finiacial burden. Hell im going on a trip tomorrow to buy more shit i dont need. Which I know sounds like like a im a spoiled brat but i am. I hate feeling like there is no point for me, but i want to stay for those who somehow love me. idk first day on here and wanted to see what comes out of a post so..... advice, idk just do whatever you want lol :>

 

[Lostandlooking]

You're still very young, that doesn't mean your pain isn't valid. But I think there's still lots of time for things to change. Contrary to what society tells us, you don't need to be productive all of the time. I don't know where your feeling comes from, the feeling that you're a burden and not contributing anything beneficial. You seem to be blessed with a family that supports you financially, that's nothing to be ashamed of in my opinion. If you feel like people are buying too much useless stuff for you you could communicate you're not comfortable with that and ask them to cut the useless spending. You could strive to buy less useless stuff. That in itself could be an admirable goal.

Especially at your age. You could even take a year (or longer) just to figure out what you would like to do. And this hasn't have to be some big goal. Just connecting with some positivity within yourself can take time and is very difficult, you also deserve time for that. Even just being there for your family, your partner and your cats is something of value I think.

I don't think it's true you can't do anything. You're about to finish high school. That's a big achievement. Even though it might not feel that way. I wish you wouldn't put such high expectations on yourself. I know that's easier said than done.

Good luck to you. And hugs.