I am sorry

[Water-Lily]

I am jealous of the many people on this site who's primary goal of suicide is to give peace to themselves

They are not concerned with others, not even those who may have hurt them, whoever they are

No, they are concerned with themselves. Putting themselves first

That is really what suicide should be

About the self, not others

Unfortunately, I am not like that

I am a ball, a casket, a fire of hatred

Enraged at what life and people have done to me, I crave revenge

A deep rooted anger pointed at making people suffer for hurting me

It brings me a sense of power

Justifiable anger towards those I cannot control

I watch as people who hurt me Wal away free

My control was robbed so I created my own control

Suicide, geared towards them

Towards everyone who has hurt me

But it is only now that I see how self destructive this is

All I am doing is hurting myself

None of this will matter to the people who hurt me

Especially my mom who is dead

I am only hurting myself, where as suicide should be about peace towards the self

I have failed in my endeavors

As a pro-revenge/suicide individual

I do not deserve to be a part of the SS community

Such a mentality does not have no place here

For that, I am truly sorry

 

[Meditation guide]

Hi, you know I like you so this is coming from a place of caring about you. Your mom is deceased so she won't feel bad if you die. Is there anyone else in particular? Or just in general?

 

[Bat 17]

I can't really see how suicide can be vengeful unless we mean to hurt others who truly care for us or embarrass/shock/shame people who will move on in 3 months

Unless we are talking about murder suicide which I trust we aren't

Suicide is all about self - it is self destruction

When I was planning my suicide attempt I did think about the impact that it would have on my ex-wife and maybe I originally had hopes that it would punish her. However I did some reading and thinking and came to the conclusion she'd move on with her life very quickly which I'm sure she would have done.

I think you are in the right place @SoloPlayer hope you stick around